Dean Wormer: “Of course I’m talking about Delta, you twerp! This year, it is going to be different! This year, we are going to grab the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus. “
Greg Marmalard: “What do you intend to do, sir? Delta is already on probation. “
Dean Wormer: “They are?”
Greg Marmalard: “Yes, sir!”
Dean Wormer: “Oh.” Then, as of this moment, they are on double-secret probation! “
Greg Marmalard: “Double-secret probation, sir?”
Dean Wormer: “There is a little known codicil in the Faber College Constitution, which gives the dean unlimited power to preserve order in time of campus emergency. Find me a way to revoke Delta’s charter. You live next door! Put Niedermeyer on it. He is a sneaky little shit, just like you, right? The time has come for someone to put his foot down! And, that foot is me!”
Clip from National Lampoon’s Animal House
Yes, rumors have flown. The evil dean is on the warpath, and the campus of America is in an emergency! Beyond the sneakiness of the implementation of the ‘Affordable’ Care Act of 2013, ‘Obamacare’, there seems to be no other solution to restore medical order to a system that is spiraling out of control. While one thinks of the words from this famous Animal House movie scene, one can easily change the names of characters and institutions involved. Greg Marmalard looks and acts like his compatriot, Doug Niedermeyer (the Omegas). Both have a track record as Ivy-League snobs grinning for more power between the black masses of fraternity initiation. However, the Ivy-League punks might well be represented by the I.R.S. (Internal Revenue Service) and the paddle being wielded might spank a hefty ‘tax’ or ‘fine’ on any inductee for non-compliance. What, no medical insurance? Then, you will be forced to join our fraternity and say, “Please sir, may I have another?” (Chip Diller).
No wonder the ‘commoners’ might consider revolt, just as the Deltas have.
In reading daily articles posted to the internet, it is easy to see how fear is now taking over this punitive change to the U.S. medical establishment. Suddenly, the dean, Obama, has become the evil king with a super-glued quill pen to his fingertips…magically writing executive decree after executive decree. Yes, it has become his time to revoke the Deltas’ medical system charter. Claims of seventy-percent of medical doctors packing up their practices and retiring or moving to another country have been announced as the commoners’ solution to the decrees of this evil king.
Additionally, the 300 million Americans (Deltas) who were supposed to sign up for this new healthcare system by the first day of January, 2014 have been very late to class, if deciding not to show up at all. What is the dean to do? Predicting a rebellion, the dean will race to the U.S. Supreme Court and force Chief Justice Roberts (Greg Marmalard?) into conducting a new national medical draft (forced participation/indentured servitude). Excellent! Niedermeyer could be in charge of the Delta draftees and enjoy the spoils of forced participation on the soccer field! The dean might immediately decree that all doctors and nurses be drafted into the U.S. armed services, indefinitely (held hostage)! See how that works? However, without participation by doctors, nurses, and patients, can the system still exist? If there is no participation, how is there a system? How does he control the Deltas’ charter now? A draft might be the only solution to revoking the Deltas’ charter!
For the dean, Obama, the ‘system’ will now work.
Just as Obama has taken over the auto industry by sending GM to China, he has successfully conquered the educational system through the introduction of ‘Common Core’ (another version of his forced compliance policies. He has allowed the Federal Reserve to keep printing money out of thin air, thus controlling Wall Street. He has limited withdrawals from banks for any Delta who might …”want 10,000 marbles, please!” (Steven Furtz as Flounder)
All retirement plans will be heading for government-controlled retirement plans…another takeover. And, finally, the dean appears to have successfully seized healthcare. Marmalarde and Niedermeyer (Justice Roberts and Kathleen Sibelius) march in to explain why the Obamacare website that they have designed…will not work. They will further justify why the imposition of Obamacare is not a fee, but a tax.
Thus, it becomes magically constitutional. However, many forget that some years later, the Deltas will be able to put a man on the moon (July, 1969). Why would Obama want to be embarrassed now? What might his magical solution be?
Why not draft doctors and nurses into the armed services of the United States! After all, the U.S. medical system is now run by the ‘White Shoe Boy Mafia” (Gerald Celente). That would force the Deltas to stand before the king in his (the dean’s) office! Obama already has his Youth Corps (Hitler Youth) in place.
What might the Deltas at their campus trial surprise the dean with, short of declaring a war on the medical parade? Who is going to…”take the Chiefs” …now? Maybe Eric Stratton (Tim Matheson) is correct as his Delta brothers hear, “Take it easy. I’m in pre-law, man.” ” I thought you were pre-med?” “What is the difference?” Yes, for Obamacare, what is the difference? Thanks to Chief Justice Roberts and the rest of the U.S. Supreme Court, King Obama is now ‘above the law’. The Deltas are left with only this line as proof of recourse. “We are not going to sit here and let you bad-mouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!”
If the dean can use his quill pen to go after the Deltas with decree after decree, with unlimited power…declaring campus emergency whenever he wants to… what is the resolution?
America needs to become as brave as its Delta members and march straight out of the probationary hearing, head back to the garage, and make ready the Deathmobile in order to “take out the chiefs!”
The attitude must be walked bravely, and the charter (U.S. Constitution) must never be allowed to be revoked. Once the chiefs are sitting on what remains of their grand podiums for the medical parade gone chaotic… “All is well!” (Kevin Bacon’s character, Chip Dillard)…Ivy League asses cooling on the cold concrete of patriot action, Obama will hear the final line from Robert Hoover (future attorney from the Delta Class of 1962). The begging voice of Robert Hoover sounds, “Dean Wormer (King Obama), can you see yourself giving us one, last chance?”
America…”Take the chiefs!” Protect the charter! Refuse to participate!
© 2014 Sean T. Taeschner, M.Ed.