8:00 I got up and made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and complained it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 The transgender mam / woman / person or thing down the street asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 The vegans at the end of the block complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not meant to decorate snow figures.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.
8:42 The feminist neighbor complained, again, that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 The Association’s ‘Equality Officer / Thought Police’ arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up … I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.
9:00 I’m on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult times.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children have been taken by social services.
9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.
Moral: There is no moral to this story … It’s just the world in which we live in today and … it is going to get much colder.