NYPD teaches cops how to be Twitter comedians

NYPD teaches cops how to be Twitter comediansNew York Post – by Dana Sauchelli

New York’s Finest need to become New York’s funniest.

The NYPD’s new Twitter handbook urges top cops to channel their inner comedian in a set of out-of-touch instructions about how to use “humor” to gain followers, The Post has learned.

Top brass are turning to a “Do’s and Don’ts” section on Page 6 of the handbook — obtained exclusively by The Post — for advice on how to churn out knee slappers to promote a better image of cops.  

“Tasteful humor is good,” it says.

It goes on to offer tips on how to make people LOL in 140 characters or less, citing real tweets from San Francisco cops as examples.

One reads: “Officers just arrested a naked man in the bison paddock in GG [Golden Gate] Park. The bison seemed unimpressed.”

By contrast, it tells cops not to post boring, jargon-filled tweets, such as, “Officers responded to an apartment on the 2500 block of Turk St. regarding a burglary.”

The handbook also says top brass are expected to tweet at least four times a day — which some cops say is unnecessary.

“It’s a lot more work … Now I have to worry about social media on top of everything else I have to do,” one police source said.

The handbook comes after The NYPD has suffered several social-media snafus, including a tasteless joke tweet about a dead woman and a “#myNYPD” hashtag campaign that backfired.

The NYPD also had top officers take a course in Twitter.

The 34-page handbook includes Twitter basics, legal tips and advice on how to gain followers.

It instructs cops to avoid “abusive language” and refrain from engaging with people who post threats such as “motherf*&ker#DieOfficerSmith.”

Cops should also refrain from posting “information that is confidential in nature.” And they should tweet about events but not open crime scenes.

Officers should avoid tweets that threaten violence or include obscenity, the handbook says.

They are encouraged to post photos of missing persons and wanted criminals.

Additional reporting by Natalie O’Neill


11 thoughts on “NYPD teaches cops how to be Twitter comedians

      1. Sorry about last night, Angel, but you commented without having seen any of the conversation leading up to Henry’s intervention. It got VERY messy, very personal, and it’s one you should have left alone, to be honest.

        No hard feelings?

        1. I didn’t go back to it. Never saw it and don’t want to. We agreed, last year, that it was a topic that where we would “agree to disagree”. 😉
          No hard feelings on my end, hope there are none on yours.

    1. Yea, they do.

      For example:

      “Hey everyone, you missed it. I just saw this one guy on the street walking by me and asked him to dance. When he wouldn’t, I just pulled out my gun and started shooting at his feet for 10 seconds. He was dancing like his life depended on it. It was hilarious! Wish you all had been there.”


      “Hey everyone, my partner and I just pulled a prank and planted some marijuana on this one guy. Now he’s spending a night in jail. How hilarious is that? Hahaha!”


      “Hey guys, I just stripped search this mega hot blond because I told her I smelled marijuana on her. Then afterwards, I told her I was only kidding. It was so funny. The look on her face was priceless. Aw man, you had to be there.”

  1. The police have run on mouth and quashie’s for far to many years as is now. So they should be able to manage this. Make there job more of a joke than it already is. Maybe they might have found something they can even do right for a change.

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