Should I Really Join Face book?

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Face book and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Face book, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.  

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble, talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-u-lating.” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then, if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship…

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, “No, but I do fart a lot.”

P.S. I know some of you are not over 60. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are. I figured your sense of humor could handle it.

We senior citizens don’t need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

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6 Responses to Should I Really Join Face book?

  1. penna says:

    We dont have a cell, but found out a couple of months ago that alot of the staff who my hubby manages wish he had one.
    Reason for it is so they can text him when they call in sick so they dont have to phone work to do so. Lazy work ethic.

    • Cathleen says:

      Penna . . . I guess it takes a certain amount of courage to actually pick up the phone and talk to a human being when calling in sick . . . or playing hooky.
      . . .

  2. Jolly Roger says:

    Good one, Paul. I’m not 60 yet, but I’m already committed to having no new gadgets.

  3. NC says:

    Hahaha! Nice.

  4. Cathleen says:

    Yep! I can relate. I’m over 60, and I hate talking on the phone. It’s a flip phone I’ve had for a good 10 years now. I don’t text nor tweet. Most times my phone is left on the desk right next to the computer . . . even when I leave the house.

    The phone rings, I can answer, or not and/or people can leave me a message. I tried having an account on Facebook and found out I didn’t like it, so I closed my account.

    What’s that saying? KISS – yes, I like living my life as simple as possible. What’s the hurry anyway?
    . . .

  5. The Arizona Patriot says:

    I have not yet hit 40 but agree completely. There are way too many gadgets that have embedded tracking on them. I just set up a FB account to keep track of my kids and get into contact with old friends I have lost touch with over the years. I do not care for it. My kids can’t even walk from one room to another to say something, they send it on a text or a FB. That drives me nuts.

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