‘Surreal, depressing, dystopian s**t’: CNN & Sesame Street warn kids to get their ‘DISTANCING STICKS’ ready for school


Preparing your kids for school this fall? Well don’t forget their pencils, lunchboxes, and “distance sticks.” That’s what the vaguely dystopian advice from Sesame Street’s Big Bird tells families watching CNN.

In a coronavirus town hall for kids and parents broadcast on Saturday, CNN enlisted the help of Sesame Street’s Big Bird to help kids understand the raft of new restrictions they’ll face when schools open their doors again this month.

Asked what he’s packing in his schoolbag, the kids’ TV favorite listed off the usual essentials – “pencils, paper and crayons” – as well as a mask, hand sanitizer, wipes, and a “distancing stick,” a handcrafted stick to poke away kids who get too close.

The segment was celebrated online by some parents, but the mention of a “distancing stick” raised a few eyebrows.

The idea isn’t a new one. Chinese students returning to school in April did so wearing winged “one-meter hats,” a wearable reminder to stay at arm’s length from each other. What was then an offbeat news story from China has since become an example of the ‘new normal’ throughout the western world. Masks and plexiglass dividers are common in American elementary schools, and government advisers in Britain have warned that children may experience “anxiety” and “nightmares” upon their return to a socially-distanced, Covid-proofed classroom.

American schools too have snapped up surveillance technology, like thermal imaging cameras with mask detection and face identification functions. Some have gone as far as fitting children with electronic tracking beacons, to determine whether the kids are obeying social distancing rules.

In Ireland, children who exhibited symptoms at one school in Athlone were banished to a garden shed in the school yard, prompting an outcry from parents. At least in the “isolation shed” they won’t need to use their distancing sticks.


4 thoughts on “‘Surreal, depressing, dystopian s**t’: CNN & Sesame Street warn kids to get their ‘DISTANCING STICKS’ ready for school

  1. We’ve gone from the United States to a shit hole..

    All this shit was what was discussed at bilderberg type mob sit downs

    We all know goddamn well this shit is utterly stupid, inconcievable we are even having to witness this childish garbage…

      1. one more bullshit deal like the last toilet paper BS and we will be

        and soon the D’s and R’s will figure out a way for the Chinks to be the only ones supplying us with shit tickets ..time to buy a bidet ? lol..but not really funny

  2. I’m finding my self in need of a Big Bird pinata, or maybe 10 of ’em. As for the news person, I’ll leave it to your imagination.


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