Trencher Alert

On February 10th, my brother and I had to take our mom to the emergency room at Morristown Medical Center. She was quite ill, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. She was admitted that night. She had CT scans, x-rays, and blood work done. She was diagnosed with Diverticulitis and a urinary tract infection. She was there receiving antibiotics via IV for two weeks.

They then sent her to a rehab place for physical therapy, but after just one night there, her hemoglobin levels dropped to 6.1 (normal levels are around 12). She had more x-rays and CT scans done.  

They finally found that she has a fistula (an abnormal joining of two hollow organs) between her bladder and intestine. A young patient could have surgery done, but my mom is eighty-six, had a heart attack and stent put in three months ago, is on blood thinners, has Scleraderma and a mild case of Lupus, and other factors, so the odds of surviving such a major surgery are slim to none.

They would have had to cut her from below the breast bone, all the way down to the pelvic bone, removed the inflammed part of the intestine, sealed the bladder, and looped the rest of the intestine around for a colostomy bag. If she had made it through surgery, she would have been in an ICU unit on a ventilator for at least three to five days.

My mom declined to have any surgery, so on Friday, March 1st, they brought her home for hospice care. I have been her caretaker for twenty-four years now. When my dad passed away in 1995, my family looked to me to take care of her. I have done that.

She wants to pass in her own home, I am doing that for her. The hospice nurse said we’re looking at a one to two week time frame.

Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. We just want her to pass peacefully and comfortably as possible.

41 thoughts on “Trencher Alert

  1. Sunfire, hope the all the best for your mother and you as well brother. Hope the best as things progress, God bless you both.

  2. You and your mother will be in my thoughts and prayers. You’re giving her the best medicine she could ever have and that is your love, Sunfire. Well done, sir.

    1. Thank you SouthernAZ. If I could give her my remaining years, I would do so gladly. She chose me to be her advocate, it has been my highest honor to be her champion.

  3. A prayer has been made..!! I have been helping take care of my brother in law who had a stroke 2 months ago now..!! It is a work of the heart that we do this…

    1. Thank you Norm. My family here at the Trenches means the world to me. I am so proud of you for taking care of your brother-in-law. It is just one example of what a kind, loving person you are.

  4. Oh my god Sunfire so sorry to hear this
    Life is so precious and family is so important
    I pray for you , your Mom and your family

    Morristown Tennessee?
    I lost my best friend to a bowl obstruction there a little over a year ago

    1. Thank you Enemy of the State. Life is indeed so precious, and it is only brief and fleeting. Thank you for your prayers, they are most appreciated.

      Morristown Medical Center is in Morristown, NJ. It is the best hospital in the state. Soon, I will be able to leave “The Garbage…errrrr Garden State” for good. I will never look back.

      I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your best friend.

  5. Sunfire, “These are the times that try men’s souls.”

    “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;

    Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

    For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.” II Corinthians 1: 3-5

    Sunfire, you and your family are in my prayers during this difficult time. You are not alone.

    “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

    1. Thank you Katie. The support and love from my family here at the Trenches makes a huge difference.

      I have a large plaque with that verse from Isaiah on my bedroom wall.

  6. Prayers and strength to you and your mom, Sunfire. It is indeed an honor to be there for those who gave so much to us. Yours is the beautiful attitude the world needs to cultivate, where love goes the distance and does the right thing. Thank you for sharing your story, and may many, many blessings surround you.


  7. Very sorry to hear of your imminent loss, Sunfire… losing a mother or father is one of the hardest to bear.

    Truth be told, however, it was the way my mother died that brought me here, and the main reason I do what I’ve been doing for the last decade. Had it not been for that, I might not even be awake today.

    Stay strong, brother.

    1. Thank you # 1. It is indeed one of the hardest things a person can face in a lifetime.

      I am glad you found the truth and joined the many wonderful and knowledgeable people here at the Trenches.

      The loss never goes away. I suppose the only wisdom I can share is that the mine fields of life don’t ever really go away, we just get better at maneuvering through them.

  8. Sorry about your Mom, it is tough to bear, but we all must if we are humans. My prayers and positive thoughts are made for all involved.

    1. Thank you ol’ stewbum. As the Vulcans in Star Trek would say: “Death is the logical conclusion to life.” We all have a time to be born and a time to die. My time will come too. I will see my mom again.

  9. God bless you and your mother Sunfire. Praying for you and your mom. Life is cruel sometimes, but it’s much better in the kingdom. Stay strong dear one.

  10. This all makes perfect sense the way you described it: Lyme = Lupus = Bartonella that eats collagen that allowed the two organs to literally melt into each other, the connection of the intestines with the bladder then gave the infection but the unforgiveable thing that probably no one counseled you on was the use of BLOOD THINNERS that is the single thing that stole her lifeforce away by bleeding her out. All anti-coagulation specialists are children running with scissors and they use to tell my mother to keep on her current dose while the blood tests showed that she could bleed out the eyes and internal organs. If I were in your position I would work with whoever was not devil-spawn to get that blood thinner down to where she is not losing blood so that she might even rally and get better. If antibiotics specific to bartonella were not used then they will have no effect on why her tissue is breaking down. It’s a trite saying from Dr. Who: “Where’s there’s Life – There’s Hope.” I wouldn’t subscribe to your mother’s end until there is nothing else left to do or try.

    1. All of my mom’s prescriptions (nine including the blood thinners) have been stopped. The only medicines she gets now are the anti-nausea ones and when needed, Morphine.

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