New, Improved Obamacare Program Released On 35 Floppy Disks

The Onion – [SATIRE]

WASHINGTON—Responding to widespread criticism regarding its health care website, the federal government today unveiled its new, improved Obamacare program, which allows Americans to purchase health insurance after installing a software bundle contained on 35 floppy disks.  

“I have heard the complaints about the existing website, and I can assure you that with this revised system, finding the right health care option for you and your family is as easy as loading 35 floppy disks sequentially into your disk drive and following the onscreen prompts,” President Obama told reporters this morning, explaining that the nearly three dozen 3.5-inch diskettes contain all the data needed for individuals to enroll in the Health Insurance Marketplace, while noting that the updated Obamacare software is mouse-compatible and requires a 386 Pentium processor with at least 8 MB of system RAM to function properly.

“Just fire up MS-DOS, enter ‘A:\>dir *.exe’ into the command line, and then follow the instructions to install the Obamacare batch files—it should only take four or five hours at the most. You can press F1 for help if you run into any problems. And be sure your monitor’s screen resolution is at 320 x 200 or it might not display properly.”

Obama added that the federal government hopes to have a six–CD-ROM version of the program available by 2016.,34294/

5 thoughts on “New, Improved Obamacare Program Released On 35 Floppy Disks

  1. And how many computers have floppy disk drives. The technological incompetence of this government is simply amazing. Unbelievable. Back to square one again.

    1. Carl –

      Don’t you just love these damn satires? Don’t feel bad, I’ve been sucked in too… LOL!!

  2. Only 35 floppys? A cost of $2000.00 with a $4008.00 fine every week for not buying it within 60 days. Don’t worry we’ll take your tax return and half your weekly paycheck untill it’s paid for. Obamacare, we’re here for you.

  3. Believe it or not we still actually have a computer with a 3.5 inch floppy disk drive–under the house in a storage container…one of my visions when I get too old to work is to create a computer museum inside a kit summer cabin/ storage building I am planning on buying…great satire, but why do I get the feeling that the doofuses that created the ObamaCare website got their training in the early 1980s? I’m surprised they didn’t use FORTRAN….

Join the Conversation

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *