We applied for an adoption of a baby in New York State in July of 1966. My husband and I were trying for a baby but it had not come to fruition. We got a beautiful baby girl on October 17, 1966 fast tracked obviously.
Presently my daughter had her DNA researched in hopes of some information she had not been able to glean. She was only able to get non-identifying information. She is 50 now and most of her adult life she has spent trying to find her mother.
She posted this on Facebook for family and closest friends:
Laura: The chances of me having such a close match on my DNA testing was remarkable. I found my first cousin he was at the top of my list. How do you even approach reaching out .well I did and he responded. From that initial contact I’ve learned my mother’s name is Judy she’s 71 in good health, I have a brother and sister. I have an aunt Peggy who has two children a boy and girl, an uncle David who has 2 girls, an aunt Nancy who is the mother of my cousin I’ve been talking to. He said my mother is a kind loving woman who wouldn’t hurt a fly but has great strength 3. My sister is a nurse, my brother a mechanic, lol we’re all in the field of helping people. My cousin is going to contact my mother this has been a lot to take in. I’m taking a deep breath. Merry Christmas to me.
I responded to the many replies and cheers with this:
Susan: I am as excited for her as she is. I have lived with this most of her life and felt helpless to be able to help. New York State has a sealed records law designed to protect the mother and for privacy leaving the child in the dark. She worked hard over the years trying to find another way. It is a very helpless feeling to know her pain and not be able to help but to be there for her. I have no problem with sharing her for I got what I wanted and that was a baby. When she was little and angry at me she would say you’re not my mother and I don’t love you. I would respond I am sorry you feel that way for I got what I wanted and that makes me very happy sorry you didn’t. That pissed her off greatly. She was not an easy child and she wore me out trying to keep her on track. I lost many a battle but loved her just the same. This is great news and maybe just maybe it will make it all right.
Her cousin requested he be the one to contact Judy and find a way to break the news to her. I am sure she will want to connect for according to Laura’s cousin she was forced to give up her baby it was not her decision.
Hoping for a happy ending.
4 thoughts on “This is my and my daughter’s story”
Anyone can have a child and be a parent, but it takes more to be a mother whether it’s your own child or not. Hopefully for you, you will always be her “Mom.”
This is a heart warming story, thanks for sharing.
Couldnt have said this any better than you Katie
If i may , I’ll add this
My wife adopted my daughter at 6 ( I raised her , single father full time mother biological egg donor out of the picture)
she is now 18, I know some of what was said and felt in this story
was exactly what they went through , and are still dealing with
it takes a lot of love to make this sacrifice , hopefully when the kid becomes an adult they will have had enough of the right up bringing to realize the person that made the real sacrifice was the person that CHOSE to raise the child that wasn’t theirs to begin with
I agree with both of you but I also realize that there is a longing within adoptive children to know about their roots. It is not that they dont love their adoptive family they do but there is something missing. After my daughter had open heart surgery she changed. She said she needed to know medical history and I understood her need. I was very secure in my role, it was never threatening to me a all. She has often told me what a great mom I was for her but there is still something missing and that I do understand.
“She said she needed to know medical history…”
Unfortunately, much of medical history is predicated upon Big Pharma intervention, Susan. Many illnesses & deaths are attributed to other than their poisons.