Hawthorne (WTFF) – A Florida Man has been arrested on methamphetamine charges.
The 49-year-old Hawthorne resident called the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office on Tuesday to complain about a “bad reaction” to some meth he purchased about a week ago, according to a press release.
Douglas Peter Kelly believed his “violent reaction” to the drug was because his dealer sold him the wrong shit. He requested that the Drug unit come out and test the meth because wanted to “press charges.”
They agreed to check it out for him. Stop on by.
They’ve also started offering to test drugs for anyone who thinks they’ve been bamboozled by their dealer:
“PUBLIC NOTICE: If you believe you were sold bad drugs, we are offering a free service to test them for you.”
-Putnam County Sheriff’s Office
The Florida Man drove to the sheriff’s office. He handed detectives “a clear, crystal-like substance wrapped in aluminum foil.” There is no plot twist. It was meth.
Kelly was arrested and charged with possession of methamphetamine. He was walked over to the Putnam County Jail and held on $5,000 bond.
The snarky press release finishes with:
Remember, our detectives are always ready to assist anyone who believes they were misled in their illegal drug purchase.
He’s gradiated to a double naught spy ain’t he????
LOL! Just watched that Beverly Hillbillies on J-tube! Now that was talent. I love the ones where Ellie Mae brings home all the critters.
What an idiot.
This is like a john complaining to the police about getting rolled by a hooker that gave him an std.
Stupid is as stupid does.
LOL. 🙂
They call it dope for a reason.
I got only seven brain cells.
Six formed a posse to find missing one.
This is America on drugs…. Any Questions?….
I don’t blame him. If I had gotten bad ice I would have “called the damn law” as well. ….. LMAO!!!!!!
“Douglas Peter Kelly believed his “violent reaction” to the drug was because his dealer sold him the wrong shit. He requested that the Drug unit come out and test the meth because wanted to “press charges.”
The customer is always right… or buyer beware.
Take your pick.
STUPIDITY ABOUNDS!!!!!
Greetings.
Watch out, daftulation is contageous.
……called the Putnam County Oinkula Clubhouse on Tuesday
to complain about a “bad reaction” to some meth he purchased……
Also, law enbreakment crime gang, with “to conquer and consume”
on their mobile concentration camps. You can trust them.
“”“PUBLIC NOTICE: If you believe you were sold bad drugs,
we are offering a free service to test them for you.”””
—Putnam County Oinkula Clubhouse
If there were more people like the above on the loose,
there would be less people like that above on the loose.
Natural selection, survival of the sharpest.
Yea, though I travel through the Valley of the Daft (elsewhere),
none shall stick to me, for God provides me with super-supplements
to keep me slippery and sharp. Thank you God.
God save the Republic.