Worker Calls Cops To Report Theft Of His Jell-O Snack From Break Room Refrigerator

The Smoking Gun

A Pennsylvania man called cops last night to report that his Strawberry-flavored Jell-O snack was stolen from the break room refrigerator at his workplace.

The gelatin heist occurred at the Wakefern Food Corporation warehouse in Beinigsville, according to the Upper Macungie Township Police Department.  

The 39-year-old victim told cops that theft from the shared refrigerator was an ongoing problem, though it is unclear whether comestibles other than Jell-O have previously been boosted.

The Jell-O theft, which was discovered around 11:30 PM by the victim, is an “open investigation,” a police spokesperson told TSG. While cops do not rule out the possibility of a future arrest, it seems likely that Upper Macungie’s finest have more pressing matters to handle.

5 thoughts on “Worker Calls Cops To Report Theft Of His Jell-O Snack From Break Room Refrigerator

  1. I feel for him, it happens where I work. When we have had special dinners we have posted people in the break room to watch the other shift as they get off and leave making sure they don’t eat or leave with food that has been brought for our shift.

    1. SERIOUSLY???

      This idiot CALLED THE COPS!!!

      He needs to be locked up in a FEMA camp.

      Think of the children.

  2. Had the same problem at one of my workplaces. Baked a cake with chocolate laxatives and made pavlova with a good sprinkle of lasix. Then just watched for the person/persons making a run for the toilet every 5 minutes. No re-offenders.

  3. Somebody call the SWAT team. Bomb them to oblivion then go in with trained assassins and apprehend these devious jello thieves. When it’s all done, would someone bitchslap the jello stoolie.

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