Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection With Humane New Head-Ripping-Off Machine


Published on May 21, 2014 by The Onion 

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Seeking a more humane method of carrying out capital punishment, Ohio’s new machine yanks inmates heads from their bodies using painless, powerful robotic claws.

4 thoughts on “Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection With Humane New Head-Ripping-Off Machine

  1. The only thing better than her smooth delivery are the graphics of the ‘Head Ripping Off Machine’ in action.

    The post ripping off processes for the body & head are equally impressive as well.

    That thing sure would deter some of those murderous thugs out there (no, I am not talking about the cops).

  2. Great for politicians.

    Slowed down to pulling about a quarter of an inch an hour, of course.

    Give ’em plenty of time to contemplate their crimes against humanity.

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