Over 60

Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done, you will have a place to live. 

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible… Is that true?
Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
“And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt…”

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband?

A: Tell him you’re pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus-year-olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus-year-olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus-year-olds when they enter antique stores?

A: “Gosh, I remember these!”

35 thoughts on “Over 60

  1. “Q: Is it common for 60-plus-year-olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

    A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

    Post-it Notes.

    Don’t leave home without them.

          1. Didn’t think you were. I was laughing because it probably looks like my desk at work.

            btw, I like the blue ones. My favorite color. 🙂

    1. Speaking of “Retrieving it”…
      Paul- I can’t remember the post where you gave me the remedies for my throat. Dog gone it I slept and didn’t go back and write them down , like I said (and had every intention) I would. 🙁
      I need the herbal substitute for an antibiotic (for Hubby).

      1. I remembered! 🙂 “Oh Joy, More Snow” LOL Had to dust off those filing cabinets in the deep, dark recesses of my brain. 500mg. fishmox , you said it could be found online. Can I find it at a health food store? Can’t wait for online delivery. Plus, I don’t remember the trusted site that digger recommended 🙁

          1. Foster and Smith are very good guys. I know a few as well as myself that have dealt with them and they are reputable.
            You are a good man Paul bro.

      2. Angel-NYC Lets see colloidal silver, 7000 mg a day of vitamin c, or to bowel tolerance. garlic cloves smashed and allowed to air for 15 minutes and then consumed, echinacea, and sambucus, are the main ones to try. I also keep 500 mg amoxacillin (fishmox) on hand just in case i need something more powerful. I buy fishmox online at amazon. it has the exact same product that is sold to us humans. i have to take care of my fishes gills ya know.

  2. Geeze Paul, people are going to think I am goofy thinking of these posts of yours – I can`t wipe this goofy smile off my face 😆 Good post paul ya got me laughin` again. 😉

    1. Aw man, I still feel like I was beat by a couple cops. At least I can bend it now and can at least walk to the bathroom anyway. Still swollen and realy sore but not at all like last week. Last week all ya had to do was touch it and it would bruise. Just plain sore. No way could I go to work, not even close, even today

        1. Blood clots or a bad heart I`m startin` to think Paul.
          I am always over doing everything. Guess I`ve gotta learn to slow down I guess
          Just woke me out of a good sleep cause I moved wrong just now 🙁
          This is realy starting to suck

          1. digger…none of my business and I haven’t followed the conversation…for what little I see your words..you have to get to the bottom of this, fast as you can, on your physical situation….no, probably not chem trails and such…go get checked by a naturapathic physician or anyone of your choice….cause you are far from having just a bad hair day……
            Think you know that already…
            my best digger
            rbeason

          2. Yes still takeing that.
            I think that because of how swollen and sore it is.
            Plus if I just stand it starts pounding and I got to lay down with leg above heart just to help it a little bit. Doesn`t help much with the swellin` though.
            I have worked a tough hard working life ya know Paul and have always gave it 110% when I should have slowed down a bit Ya know.

          3. @ 8:23, starts pounding and swells up again.
            I absolutley refuse to go to the hosp. especially this time of year – all my pipes would freeze ya know – they would keep me for at least a couple of days ya see and I absolutely cannot have that
            Anyway this is not the place for this discussion ya know Paul 😉

  3. Over 60….
    Whats’ be doings( around) here?
    Just.
    Hanging out….?
    I’ll except that …..
    No Hell no I won’t cause……….
    ain’t no sunshine sense your’re gone…..

  4. #1&2 I’ve been there, scariest time of my life. My brother-in-law called and said his wife was starting menopause and asked for advice, I told him to rent a plane and go to 30,000 feet and jump out without a parachute, it will be less painful.

  5. Whenever I feel down about aging I just look at a picture of Barney Frank and then listen to him talk. That usually cleans things up quite nicely.

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