Boo Hoo, Fatty: Ex-Subway Pitchman Pedophile Jared Fogle Already Gained 30 Pounds In Prison

The Daily Sheeple

So much for that healthy Subway diet, huh?

It is now being reported that ex-Subway pitchman and convicted pedophile Jared of sub sandwich diet fame has already gained 30 pounds in prison where he can no longer “eat fresh”.  

fogleVia NY Daily News:

Fogle, the disgraced Subway spokesman who rose to fame after dropping 245 pounds eating a diet filled with sandwiches, has traded turkey and veggie subs for cakes and Honey Buns, In Touch Weekly reported.

“Jared’s breakfast is usually Frosted Flakes with fruit or oatmeal with cake. He loves ‘cake day’ in the dining hall twice a week and he buys Honey Buns by the box,” a prison insider said. “He’s been known to eat an entire box of eight at one sitting.”

Geez… He’s only been in there for three months. An entire box of eight honey buns in one sitting??

Ah well, who says karma doesn’t work?

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10 thoughts on “Boo Hoo, Fatty: Ex-Subway Pitchman Pedophile Jared Fogle Already Gained 30 Pounds In Prison

  1. You gotta work hard to gain 30 pounds in prison. I’ll bet that if he gains another 50 pounds, he might avoid becoming someone’s wife.

    As soon as he got locked up, he realized he’s the prettiest girl in town.

  2. The added weight is only a byproduct of his lifestyle in prison. Being everyone’s “Bitch” is a bitch! lol

  3. It’s a long fall from the top of the mountain eh?!? That sick jerk is done, even when he gets out of prison. He’ll be lucky if all he walks out with is extra weight, a lot of his “jailhouse sweeties” have HIV. He may be eating Honey Buns, but I bet he is everyone’s “honey buns”.

  4. Unfortunately, as a paedophile, he is probably in protective custody in a segregated ward. Cameras are everywhere to make sure his ilk aren’t assaulted by anyone. High-fives are probably what he was greeted with.

    Sad to say and I wish he were getting his just “desserts”. He deserves to have cream filled honeybuns for breakfast every morning and double meat before synagogue on Saturdays.

  5. Fogle is lower than dog crap, but on principle I believe every effort should be made to prevent prison rape, regardless of how despicable an inmate is. Joking about it is one thing, but we shouldn’t seriously approve of it. Rape should never be part of the sentence, even unofficially. Not if we support the Bill of Rights and oppose the sick things the evil US government has done to some prisoners in the “War of Terror.”

  6. You people are brutal…. so I’m gonna go light on the dude.
    He’s the new spokesman for “Honey Buns”.
    I guess we know what to eat to gain weight now.

  7. If you want some estimate of why a lot of folks detest Americans ‘of a certain stripe’, just read the depraved drivel in the comments to this story.

    I’m no fan of Jared Fogle (or of Subway, or of paedophiles), but the people who make it clear that they get some twisted satisfaction from Fogle being prison-raped, mark themselves out as mentally sick.

    Imprisonment is supposed to be punishment enough: being deprived of liberty is the punishment – if there is some other horror that the incarceree is subjected to, that represents yet another failure of the state’s ‘justice’ system.

    After all. the ‘system’ does not sentence those found guilty to ’15 years in prison, with unpredictable bouts of anal rape and forced fellatio on other inmates’. It sentences the guilty to ’15 years in prison’, full stop: the punishment is the denial of liberty.

    Bear in mind that Fogle cannot be held responsible for his actions: anyone with passing familiarity with the current state of neuroscience will immediately acknowledge that free will is an illusion, and therefore Jared Fogle was not the conscious author of his actions. Like all of us, he was hostage to his subconscious – we should all be thankful that we did not have Fogle’s subconscious, because otherwise we would have done precisely what he did… and so we should feel sorry for Fogle.

    I adapted my view of free will about a half-decade ago: I used to believe that free will existed, but it clearly doesn’t (in fact it’s logically impossible).

    As a result of changing my view, my tendency to favour highly-asymmetric retributive punishment has gone away completely – the only justifiable punishment is the level consistent with (1) feedback that forces the offender’s subconscious to adapt his behaviour; or (2) if the offender is literally irremediable, removing him from society altogether.

    But placing an individual in a situation in which he is subjected to torture (being raped or being forced to perform fellatio would count as torture if anything does), serves literally no remedial purpose (it’s not going to make Fogle’s subconsious change its processing).

    People should feel ashamed if they feel depraved vicarious joy at the notion that Fogle will be sexually tormented by even worse predators.

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