For People of No Culture (have some of ours)

    Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet
 drive-in movies and burger joints in the pistol-packin’ USA. 

    Cowboys, Indians, Al Capone and bathtub gin. 
Hoola hoops and Frisbee games, and southern girls with two first names.  

    Drag racing, tractor pulls, and rodeo stars on top of bulls.
Bowling leagues and the P.T.A. and boy scout troops that weren’t gay.     

    Moonshine, sugar wine, running faster than the cops. 
High school proms and football games and endless rows of crops. 

    Harley-Davidson, pick-up trucks, and pool tables in the bars. 
Poker games on river boats and Knevil jumping cars.            

    Juke boxes, slot machines, and hot-rods for the kids. 
Hop a freight train across the land once you hit the skids.

    Beach bums and surfer dudes in every coastal state. 
Factory work, soda jerks, and waitresses on skates. 

    Davy Crockett, Daniel Boone and cattle rustlers hanged at noon. 
Water wars, bargain stores, and astronauts flying to the moon. 

    John Stienbeck, Hemmingway, F. Scottt Fitzgerald, and old Mark Twain. 
Chainsaws, and oil rigs, and snake skin boots and backyard pigs.     

    Block parties, county fairs, the Statue of Liberty’s spiral stairs. 
CB lingo, Catholic bingo, and shady porches with rocking chairs.  

    Jazz quartets, and rock-n-roll, the big-band era and Motown soul. 
City kids party in the street ‘n hang out on the roof with girls they meet.  
          
    Angels from hell on motorbikes and soap box derbies for the little tikes. 
But nobody here can wear a crown ’cause American men do not bow down.    

    Yankee cooking or southern fried, have it either way. 
The gumbo’s great but no one understands what the Cajuns say.         

    NASCAR, topless bars, circus Geeks and movie stars, 
Girl scout cookies and the school bake sale. From the pony express to the U.S. Mail. 

    Roller coasters, Ferris wheels, the New York skyline built from steel. 
The Alamo in The Lone Star State and plenty of food on everybody’s plate. 

    Presidents carved in a mountain’s face and satellites sent to outer space. 
Wood saws played with fiddle bows, and square dance steps that everybody knows. 

    Bonnie and Clyde and Jesse James will never be forgotten names, 
They didn’t hold office or win any wars, they just robbed banks and we said “thanks”. 
    
                — Jolly Roger, for DiggerDan