On October 19, 2058, Dr. Smith Q Smith was led into a chamber buried under the US Department of Sacred Language. He was interviewed by Judge Garble Definite III. This is a partial transcript:
Judge: Do you know why you’re here today, Dr. Smith?
Smith: I was told by the battalion that arrested me at my office that I was violating Federal Code X-Prime.
Judge: That is correct. Your violation is extreme. You informed a patient that his flu wasn’t the flu. This is a contradiction that carries a potential 20-year sentence at the Trilateral Work Farm on Okinawa.
Smith: Your Honor, semantics is the only issue here.
Judge: That’s right, Doctor. Which is why your crime is so grave. First of all, the word “flu” is owned by the US Federal Merck Glaxo Homeland Security Agency. Do you realize that?
Smith: That’s what I’ve been told.
Judge: Let me explain. When a person has a certain set of symptoms like cough, fever, fatigue—and all this is spelled out in the Manual—you, the doctor say: “Flu.” That’s how you use the word. You don’t make conditions. You don’t shrink back. You don’t contradict yourself. You say: “Flu.” The owners of the word demand it.
Smith: Understood. But also implicit in the word “flu” is a flu virus that causes the illness. And you see, after I diagnosed my patient with the flu, I discovered that the virus wasn’t present. So I told him he didn’t have the flu.
Judge: You violated the implicit contract that allows you to use the word “flu” in the first place. According to that contract, you can’t apply the word and then take it away. Why? Because then you would weaken the power of the word. You would dilute it. The owners of the word, under federal law, do not allow dilution.
Smith: This seems very strange to me.
Judge: It’s very clear. Let me explain something to you. To whom does language belong? At first, everybody. It’s a communal possession. It’s owned collectively by everybody. But the path of political evolution has shown us that government becomes the leadership of the collective. Following me? What the collective owns becomes what the government owns. Do you see that?
Smith: I’m not sure. The government safeguards the possessions of the collective?
Judge: Exactly. Who else can protect what the collective has?
Smith: Frankly, sir, I feel like I’m in a bad dream.
Judge: You entered a bad dream when you applied the word “flu” and then took it back. Let me be very, very clear about this: part of the definition of “flu” is, once a doctor assigns it to a patient, he can’t take it back. It doesn’t matter what diagnostic tests show or don’t show. It doesn’t matter if the patient “really” has diabetes or arthritis. The word “flu” means: you put it on a patient like a sticker and it stays there. No matter what. Whether or not the patient actually has a flu virus is completely irrelevant. Understand?
Smith: So my skill as a diagnostician is beside the point.
Judge: Entirely beside the point. The primary fact is, the word “flu” is owned, and the owners say you must never give the word and then take it away. Never.
Smith: This reminds me of the famous GMO decision of the Supreme Court.
Judge: It was correctly determined that the term “GMO” is owned by Monsanto. Therefore, no one can claim food should be labeled “GMO” unless Monsanto agrees.
Smith: Who owns the word “doctor”?
Judge: The American Medical Association and the FDA and Harvard, jointly.
Smith: They can take it away from me?
Judge: Yes, because part of the official definition of “doctor” is, it can be retracted if a doctor commits a serious offense—and you have.
Smith: That’s very troubling.
Judge: A word is a thing like a cow or a rug or a car. Remember that. And all things are owned.
Smith: Who owns the word “word”?
Judge: The US Department of Sacred Language.
Smith: And who owns that Department?
Judge: The Department owns itself.
Smith: Who decided that?
Judge: The Department.
Smith: What do you want me to do, Your Honor?
Judge: Tell that patient he does have the flu.
Smith: Even though he doesn’t.
Judge: There is no “doesn’t” in this case. Rid yourself of that idea. Again, the word “flu” means: once you apply it to a patient, it stays with that patient. If you removed it, you would be diluting the power of the word, and that must never happen.
Smith: All right. I’ll tell the patient he has the flu.
Judge: You must pay a fine to the government. One year’s salary. You must attend a six-week language seminar at the Alcatraz Re-Ed Facility. Once I read their report on your performance, I’ll decide whether to impose a prison sentence.
Smith: I must accept your verdict, so I do. But let me ask you this: where does language come from?
Judge: The US Department of Psychology and Linguistics has determined that language arose spontaneously, from the collective of humanity, all at once, about 180,000 years ago. It wasn’t there, and then it was. Like the Big Bang.
Smith: No single individual played a role?
Judge: The US Department of Homeland Security has outlawed the word “individual.” You surely know that.
Smith: I’m just talking, sir.
Judge: That is your problem. You “just talk.” There are thousands, if not millions of ways a person can talk and offend others in the process. Our present civilization is based on that fact.
Smith: My patient…is he not an individual?
Judge: He is an expression of the collective. He is the result of trillions of prior events and trillions of trillions of sub-atomic movements in space and time.
Smith: So in the larger scheme of things—
Judge: He is unimportant. What is important is the way you used a word improperly. This must be corrected.
Smith: I have a problem, Your Honor.
Judge: What is it?
Smith: Paying a fine of one year’s salary would throw me into bankruptcy. I wouldn’t be able to support my family.
Judge: I’m well aware of that.
Smith: You are?
Judge: Listen carefully. Once you declare bankruptcy, you can apply for Victim Status, according to Federal Code 56T9YUR. Under the classification of “medical doctor,” you can then receive free housing, food credits, a vehicle, three cell phones, a small office, eight computers, and access to the Federal Cloud. After two years, you can then apply for Psychological Disability, which will enable you to go to work for the Federal Victim Consolation Agency. You would become a Class B Counselor, and you would help other Victims reorganize their lives. Your salary would be commensurate with what you were previously earning as a medical doctor. All in all, you would emerge intact. As a bonus, you would have an enhanced appreciation of the plight of others.
Smith: I had no idea that was possible. Let me ask you this. What is the definition of the word “victim”?
Judge: “A person who has applied or should apply for Victim Status under federal regulations.”
Smith: Can the designation of “victim” ever be removed once it is granted?
Judge: Absolutely not.
Judge: Because, metaphysically speaking, the presence of one Victim means everyone is a Victim. More and more of the collective is realizing that fact every day.
Smith: So I would be joining—
Judge: By applying for Victim Status, you would be elevating your position in terms of consciousness and the whole evolutionary process.
Smith: I wish I had known all this sooner.
Judge: It doesn’t matter. You will know it now.
—end of excerpt—
Records show that Dr. Smith tried to attack the Judge in the courtroom. Before he was subdued by guards and given an injection, he uttered 57 forbidden words.
When the Judge recovered, he sentenced Dr. Smith to life in prison at the Times Square Rendition Center. That sentence automatically triggered an application for Helplessness Category 4-Fg, which was quickly granted to the doctor.
Dr. Smith was then taken to the Yale Academy Word Annex in the Sudan, where he was enrolled in a Do-Over School, starting with the first grade. He was given a full 12 years of elementary, middle, and high school education, with an emphasis in New Language Skills.
At the end of his sentence, he was accepted as an in-house word manager at the US Department of Sacred Language in Washington DC.
He quickly rose to the position of Judge Commissioner, and was assigned cases of language violations.
Three years later, because of his sterling record, the People’s Party of America approached him. They offered to support his candidacy for a seat in the US Senate.
Smith agreed to run. His platform was summed up in a single paragraph: “The owners of language represent the collective, all of us together. The owners give us the wisdom to know what to say and what not to say. This wisdom raises us up to the top of the mountain, where the great prophets live in silence. Someday, we, too, will be silent. Then we will know peace.”
During the first campaign debate, Smith stood at his podium alongside the other candidates. When asked questions, he refused to speak.
His poll ratings soared. He quickly became the frontrunner.
He won the election in a landslide.
During his full six-year term in the Senate, he never uttered a word to anyone.
On that basis, his Party nominated him for the office of President of the United States.
At the Party’s convention, he stood at a podium in front of ten thousand delegates, to signal his acceptance.
However…he began talking.
This shocked everyone to their roots.
He began reading excerpts from the plays of Shakespeare, and the poems of Yeats and Thomas, the essays of Mark Twain.
After an hour, federal agents raided the stage and took him away.
He now lives in Death Valley. He pumps gas at a station on the Serenity Highway and talks endlessly to customers, and when there are no customers, he talks to himself.
People who live in the area call him Crazy Doc.
The town of Serenity, which once had a population of 36, is now inhabited by 3000 people. They all talk all the time.
A legend is growing: when it rains, and it is raining more frequently than in the past hundred years, it is the talk that is causing water to fall from the sky. It is the talk that is causing plants to grow on the desert floor. The talk has reversed tepid sterility rates, and the new children are healthy. They run around and play and talk excitedly among themselves, as if they have discovered a new thing.
A ceremony has developed in the town of Serenity. Every year, the residents build a tower of stones in the desert, and then they take it down. The building up, they say, represents the tyranny of one way to speak; and the collapsing stands for the proliferation of many ways and many languages. The many is the richness they seek.
The author of three explosive collections, THE MATRIX REVEALED, EXIT FROM THE MATRIX, and POWER OUTSIDE THE MATRIX, Jon was a candidate for a US Congressional seat in the 29th District of California. He maintains a consulting practice for private clients, the purpose of which is the expansion of personal creative power. Nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, he has worked as an investigative reporter for 30 years, writing articles on politics, medicine, and health for CBS Healthwatch, LA Weekly, Spin Magazine, Stern, and other newspapers and magazines in the US and Europe. Jon has delivered lectures and seminars on global politics, health, logic, and creative power to audiences around the world. You can sign up for his free NoMoreFakeNews emailshere or his free OutsideTheRealityMachine emails here.