National Report – by Nigel J. Covington III, Sept 20, 2013 [SATIRE]
Late this afternoon White House insiders leaked information stating the president has suffered a mental breakdown and is presently resting and under a doctors care. This afternoon the National Report received three calls on our nationwide hot tip line (206) 222-1975. Two of the three callers are insiders known to the National Report to be reliable confidential informants.
The caller unknown to this publication is a low level employee who could only state that there was some kind of a medical emergency involving President Obama. The other two callers known to us are both support personnel within the Obama administration. Both confirmed this week has been a political disaster for the president and this has taken a tremendous toll on him.
Earlier this week Russian President Vladimir Putin derailed the president’s plan to bomb Syria and bury the U.S. in another war the people want nothing to do with and can ill afford to pay for. Putin negotiated a deal with Syria for control over its chemical weapons providing a peaceful resolution to a certain US attack. With the world watching Obama was forced to stand down causing him a great deal of shame and public embarrassment.
Before Putin extended the olive branch of diplomacy to resolve the Syrian crisis, he also agreed to grant asylum to Edward Snowden, the man who stole US secret documents that exposed the NSA secret program already underway and approved by President Obama to spy on all US citizens. Not only did Snowden expose the top secret NSA program to the world, he escaped US authorities in China and arrived in Russia where he repeatedly bitch-slapped the president by releasing more US secrets to the media.
Safely in the arms of Mother Russia Snowden, showed the world people how helpless and weak the Obama administration is at being utter failures at diplomacy, tact and statesmanship. While Putin and Obama were engaged in “negotiations” over Snowden’s extradition, Snowden and Putin were engaged in conversation about Snowden’s defecting to Russia.
In one of the most crippling moments of President Obama’s tenure Putin cut a deal with Snowden for asylum giving the Russian president tons of other US secrets. Edward Snowden now lives safely beyond the reach of Obama’s dirty scandal ridden administration who would’ve imprisoned or killed Snowden without a trial clearly disregarding all of Snowden’s civil liberties and denying him the opportunity to explain his actions before a court of law who would determine Snowden’s fate… not Obama. Then Putin told Obama ‘no’ on Snowden’s extradition completely shaming the president in front of the world.
In the past couple weeks the big winners on the world stage have been Syria, Russia, Snowden and Putin; all at the expense of America’s impotent and fraudulent president.
Remember what Obama “sold” the American people in his 2008 bid for the presidency? Obama the “agent of revolution” guaranteed “change” instead he lied to everyone by promising the “most transparent” government – “no special interest” – “a new way of doing business” – “most honest” – “most righteous” – “the new beginning” – then there was the abortion of Obama’s world tour… what a national mortification. And today how many of these promises has the president kept?
Then today’s Gallup poll results have been absolutely devastating for the president and the Democratic party. Obama’s approval rating dropped to the lowest in presidential history, and support from the Democratic Party plummeted more than 25% from this time last year.
Our sources confirm late this afternoon a doctor was summoned to the oval office and remained with the president for about a half-hour. When the doctor emerged he was heard to say the president needed rest and would be sedated once he was moved to his bed. The White House has remained silent and has yet to make a statement publicly.
Sources:
The Nixon Alliance Underground: http://www.thenixonallianceunderground.com/obama-has-had-a-nervous-breakdown-and-he-does-not-know-it/
– See more at: http://nationalreport.net/meltdown-washington-president-obama-reported-sedated-following-emotional-breakdown/
Hmm. Microwaves and ELFs? Crack cocaine OD? Clone malfunction? He’s behind bars?
Maybe boohoo Boehner can pay him a visit and commiserate.
Enbe, you may be right but I just think that baby boy barry is just haveing a spoiled little hissy fit. His is just haveing a breakdown because he was holding his breath and kicking the floor because his boy freind didn`t give him his lap dance. Poor boy obama. Maybe obama should just go and powder his nose and get over it.
Oh, you’re probably right, Digger, but I’m still anticipating the end of the Obama abomination, hopefully any day now.
“When the doctor emerged he was heard to say the president needed rest and would be sedated once he was moved to his bed. The White House has remained silent and has yet to make a statement publicly.”
Gee….It’s such a shame he didn’t receive “OBAMACARE”. Maybe then we would of had a new president for a change.
Who’s next? Biden? ECK! Well, at least it would have been a start.
He should receive the same care returning vets get
Screw the worthless little queer Muslim bastard!!!
The doctor said Obama needed some rest for awhile. Meanwhile, the Nazi-looking, Valerie Jarrett in the White House is screaming in a Nazi voice,
“Send in da CLONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”.
Like Frau on Austin Powers!
SEND IN ZE CLONES!
Exactly! lol
Maybe they could get little Webster to play the part of Mini-me.
Maybe his cyanide capsule broke a little too early.
Hell guys, I think that we all know that obama is just chilling out smoking the lastest crop of the Herb and smoking that crack again. We all know how that crack and that marijuana is don`t we, It is realy nice when you can smoke all ya want and be able to afford it and take a few days off with complete imunity from being busted.
Hey Digs, don’t forget that guys like him can get up to “Two weeks paid administrative leave” as well.
Yes NC then obama would have a good time for two weeks with all the pot and crack he can smoke and then not even to mention his bell boy boy freind to see to his every need. And then when every thing gets even more screwed up during that two week vacation he can blame his vice pres. mr. tear drop boner 🙂
i hope its so!
next step to the bedroom
To jail…..
there is a cure for this son of a bitch, hang him , then cut of his f#@king
head, then burn him and piss on his ashes , how dare this usurper
destroy our great and beautiful country.
GOD BLESS AMERICA.
Join the club.
Probably got caught snorting lines off of his desk.
This report is a fake. National Report.com is a satire news site.
Aww….shit! You mean this ain’t real? DAMMIT! Nothing good ever happens anymore. lol
I know you guys have hearad this one before but I bet ya`ll haven`t listened to it for a while 🙂 🙂 this link is for obama. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EB-GsXHS_l ………… P.S. I do not know wtf is wrong with this vid. because I watched it twice and it does exist but this link I posted there says that it doesn`t!!! 🙁 Anyway it is the song called ” It`s Been A While ” by Three Doors Down. Good song for obama. Yes AWESOME song I think.
It’s SATIRE, people. I sent FTT links out this afternoon of this story post & people went into hard party mode thinking it was real! I still think a couple of them are still running across the ridge-tops naked, drinking moonshine & howling like wolves.
OH, I wanted to but couldn’t confirm it.
Yea BentSpear, I fell for it too I will admit but only because of wishfull thinkin` buddy 🙂 🙂 and like you said, I bet these others did too. 🙂 🙂 , I should`ve known better – wishful thinking thinkin` though ya know BentSpear. 🙂
Only way it could be better digger is if the whole Administration went bonkers & moved to Newfoundland in straightjackets or did a Jonestown Koolaid party.
Yes BentSpear those would work. I still have a fantasy though of them guys just getting dumpped off in the middle of Death Valley in the middle of summer with no water or shade. Ya see that way the vultures could eat too by picking their two bit bones clean. It would save us all the work of collecting their waste. Come to think about it, I think that that would make a hell of a documentary, bet it would be a best seller called ” The Obama administration mummiyfied in death valley with no clean up ” This would – of course – include all of the federal employeese like the senate, and all of those other clowns that hold goverment jobs.
Yes it would be great, but it looks like hard work & rope will end up being the correct course of action.
Yes BentSpear, I guess that it is time for those wind chimes isn`t it. On that note it realy is getting late for me and I gotta call it a night. I hope to see us all tomorrow. Good night all and be safe and above all be free.
Just drop him off at the local bath house with his crack-pipe and a fistful of rocks and he’ll be a happy homo once again.
Satire or not, I just noticed this story on GLOBE when I was food shopping earlier today. Maybe it is real.
See here:
OBAMA’S SECRET BREAKDOWN
http://www.globemagazine.com/story/1068