Subway/Michelle Obama announce partnership to make kids hate lunch at places other than schools

Michelle Malkin – by Doug Powers

Judging from the vomitous reaction I’ve seen from students regarding the school lunch standards that Michelle Obama prodded into existence, I’m not sure this is the wisest of marketing campaigns:

Michelle Obama is getting a new ally in her campaign to get kids to eat more fruits and vegetables. 

The first lady was expected to announce Thursday that the Subway sandwich chain will spend $41 million over three years to encourage finicky young eaters to eat more food that comes out of the ground or grows on trees. The announcement was being made at a Subway shop near the White House.

Subway will only offer a kids’ menu that mirrors federal standards for school lunches. That includes offering apples on the side and low-fat or nonfat plain milk or water as a default beverage.

I repeat: Is that really a good idea, Subway?

It doesn’t really matter though, because FLOTUS has already decided what a “good lunch” should be, and that’s final:

At a Subway sandwich shop in DC, Michelle Obama hails the chain’s new healthy choices kids menu: “It’s what a kids menu should look like.”

After that, a Subway spokesman, in a glassy-eyed hypnotic stare, read in a monotone voice from a prepared statement written on FLOTUS stationary: “For the first time in Subway’s adult life we’re proud of our footlongs.” And if it didn’t happen that way, it should have.

An entire street was blocked off in front of a DC Subway this morning:

View image on Twitter

Michelle Obama just having lunch at subway u know no big deal. Whole street blocked off …….

Unreliable sources tell me the street wasn’t blocked off because of Michelle Obama’s appearance, but because Jared was being told his health insurance policy was canceled per Obamacare regs and they didn’t want the press to see him flip out.

A new logo has already been suggested:

View image on Twitter

**Written by Doug Powers

Twitter @ThePowersThatBe

7 thoughts on “Subway/Michelle Obama announce partnership to make kids hate lunch at places other than schools

  1. No big deal. My little girl doesn’t eat out anyway. Everything other than home cooking isn’t good for you. Of course, I don’t count our pancakes, bacon and eggs breakfast on Saturdays when mom’s at work. Quality time, dontcha know.

  2. that’s fine, my kid isn’t a public school sheep anyways
    and anyone who allows their kid to be brainwashed by that system gets what they deserve

  3. Can’t this he-she bitch leave Subway alone? 😡 It’s one of the few places I eat at. She’s already destroyed all the other food in this country.

  4. but she says nothing about california worst draught in history and provides a large amount of those fruits and veggies and we wont have any. I kid you not, I dont live in california but this draught is extreme, people dont understand..

  5. The same bigfoot that was growing an organic garden at the white house and shopping at the farmers market is now eating nitrate meat and ‘preserved fresh’ veggies?

    She probably has to take the aspartame gum out of her mouth first…

  6. Can’t she understand that we don’t want any more of her (and her husband’s) shenanigans? Most persons, upon perceiving they are not wanted, would quietly retire. She keeps on shoving herself on us. That in itself is a sign of low intelligence, or craziness.

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