Dec 14, 2020
What if SimpliSafe could protect your holidays like it protects your home? Protect your holidays this year with The Social Distancing Sweater. The only sweater that helps people come together while staying 6 ft apart.
From the Trenches World Report
Enforce our Bill of Rights
At first I thought this was a joke. Now I think they’re just mocking us. A simple: “You’ll buy anything.”
If this is a real company, it needs a visit from Chuck Norris:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7Cul2W7fs8
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wtf…. This can’t be real…. But alas….Its the New normal…
You better be wearing one when you come over next week. And I have two yardsticks for each of us in case the sweater malfunctions. I’m so grateful for this company keeping me safe, and at the same time, FASHIONABLE.
🙂 🙂 🙂
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Yes I bought the Jew Blue one…! and wait, how long is a Yard stick??
Ha ha
It’s a yard stick, silly, so 6′. Just like Orwell said. But my neighbor, Karen, is making me a new one that is 6 and a half feet. She is so on top of it, and giving the yardstick a whole new proportion.
🙂
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Found this:
https://www.promosis.com/simplisafe/
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Here’s a way for an idiot to get pummeled 🙂
https://twitter.com/firebox/status/1318247717894750209?lang=en
Wow. Did you buy one yet?
🙂
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Of course not, sis.
I was suggesting that some diaper faced degenerate is gonna use it on the wrong John, or Jane, and be transformed into a spastic tripod until the battery is dead. 😉
I was just kidding you. 🙂
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F’g sweater ought to have a detonator on it to prune the family tree of anyone who buys that shite.