I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses.
A young lady walks over to me and asks, “What brings you in today?”
I looked at her, and said, “I’m interested in buying a refrigerator.”
She didn’t quite know how to respond.
Am I getting to be that age?
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I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.
I can’t afford one. So I’m wearing my garage door opener.
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I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
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I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it ‘Pumping Rust.’
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When people see a cat’s litter box they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?”
Just once I want to say, “No, it’s for company!”
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Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency.
I think you should write, ‘An ambulance.’
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The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
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The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble..
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Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘ The’ and ‘ IRS ‘ together it spells ‘Theirs…’
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Ageing: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
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Some people try to turn back their “odometers.” Not me.
I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way.
I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
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Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
Funny, funny!
Hi Paul,
When my mother gave birth to me, the doctor put me down and slapped her!
Rodney Dangerfield
I had him in my limo years ago for his birthday, we got lost.
True story.
LOL
I enjoyed Rodney Mark. 🙂
Paul….again you make me laugh…….and I LOVE to laugh! Thanks
That’s the main reason I do this mary. We have a lot of misery around us. We need some humor now and then.
Agreed.
😆 😆 😆
Hey Paul…who is Rodney Mark?
haha Typo. meant to say mary. Sorry mary. 😯 Thanks Swifty for catching that. Rodney, of course, is Rodney Dangerfield.
LOL
You caught Swifty’s comment and posted your reply while I was typing my reply. 😆
??? “Sorry mary.” ??? I’m confused… I thought you were replying to Mark Schumacher…
I’m getting to be that age, too… 😉 😆
LOL
He’s “getting to be that age”. 😉 😀
He forgot to put a comma between Rodney and Mark. It was just a Typo. 🙂
Thanks Angel. I’m busted. haha Ain’t the first time. Punctuation, and spelling are not my strong suit. 🙂
You know your getting old.
When…
The only way you can get close to having sex.
Is a prostate exam at the doctor.
Bada ching…
That’s why I always try to find a female physician.
Because a male doctor sticking his finger up my bunghole is kind of gay..
Bada ching..
Preferably not a Jewish female doctor.
Because she’ll steal all the shekels hidden up my azz and tell me I have colon cancer and I have to reschedule another appointment.
Bada ching..
And the final thing when you know your getting old…
Is when you stop using drugs, partying and drinking…
Yet..
You still feel like your are still using drugs partying, drinking and your still fkd up.
Bada ching…
Gotta go…
There’s another skeeter biting me in my trailer.
And I’ll betcha it’s fkd up to after biting me.
I recall one time I was in the grocery store and I chose the checkout with the good looking 18-20 year old girl.. I said “Hi! how’s it going today?…she said “very good”. she scanned my item and then she asked; “did you remember to bring your senior discount card today, sir ?” If that don’t take the wind out of a guys sails..I laughed and said, “I’m only 40!”, She said “well ,I don’t know!”. I said “no problem” paid her , and bid her farewell…
I don’t worry about getting old… 🙂
Funny!
😆
I was just being a smart aleck Paul. I knew what you meant. 🙂
How ya doin Swifty?
Im doin great Paul, thanks for asking.
Glad to hear that brother. 🙂
I like being old. When the wife asks me to do something I don’t really want to do I just say, not today honey I hurt to much. She says ooh I’m sorry the don’t worry about it. I do smile a lot now days.