CBS Sacremento Thrown into the spotlight and labeled a homewrecker, California women are finding themselves shamed online. Call Kurtis investigated a controversial website allowing scorned women to get back at the other woman.
More than 175 women from California are now labeled as homewreckers on one website. An Amador County woman found herself on shesahomewrecker.com. She admits to having the affair, but thinks what’s been posted about her is not fair.
“I met him at work,” said Lorena Velasco, who found herself listed on the site.
Velasco says when she got involved with a married man, he said he was separated and had moved out.
“He really didn’t tell me much about her. Going through a separation, the marriage just didn’t work out,” said Velasco.
Velasco never thought of herself as a homewrecker. But a search of her name online results in her pictures and name on shesahomewrecker.com. The images were taken from her Facebook page.
“It’s hurtful. It’s very hurtful,” said Velasco.
The site encourages scorned women to post pictures and stories about the other woman.
“’I’ve included pictures of the whore, who knew she was married,’” said Velasco, quoting the post about her. “I guess she was so scorned that she felt the need to Facebook-stalk me, steal my pictures and say these things about me.”
Kurtis: Can you relate to the feelings she has?
Velasco: I can. It hurts very badly, but I’d never blame anyone he was talking to and go after them, because that’s on him.
This mother to a three year old is afraid the posting could keep her from finding a job, but can’t get the posting removed. The website says once a post is up, it stays up.
Kurtis: Why would you make this podium for people just to be slandered, harassed, hurt?
Ariella Alexander, owner of shesahomewrecker.com: I’ve been told I’m slut-shaming, I’m pitting women against women.
Meet the woman behind the shesahomewrecker.com. She uses the name Ariella Alexander.
“Was I cheated on? Of course. I mean, I’m 36 years old. There’s not a woman in the world who says they haven’t been cheated on,” said Alexander.
She says her goal is to give victims of affairs a voice and strike fear in women before they even think about becoming a mistress.
“Hold up. I don’t want to involve myself with someone else’s husband. I don’t want to end up on shesahomewrecker.com,” said Alexander.
She says involving yourself with someone else’s man breaks girl code.
“Yes, it’s a man’s fault. But I expect more from a woman. I think women should respect other women,” said Alexander.
She says she’s received thousands of submissions, and admits not everything posted on her site may be true. But she says that’s not her problem.
“I provide the platform and I post the stories, but I’m not responsible to verify the validity of the stories,” said Alexander.
But is she off the hook?
Attorney Stuart Talley says the law protects most website operators from being held responsible for defamatory or libelous remarks users post online. But he says this website’s name alone is a problem.
“The message at the top of the website is conveying anyone listed on this website is a homewrecker. So she’s the one sending the message,” said Talley.
But Alexander is not concerned.
“Once you sleep with a married man, that’s it. You’re a homewrecker. Anything after that, if the wife wants to call you a slut, if she wants to call you a whore, she wants to call you a trollop, call you whatever she wants to call you, that’s her opinion based on the events of the affair,” said Alexander.
Kurtis: What ultimately happened to your relationship?
Velasco: It ended
Kurtis: Why did it end?
Velasco: Because he was talking to the other woman, and I found out about it.
It was ending a relationship that lead to her present-day scarlet letter: an online shaming.
Kurtis: Would you think twice before getting in a relationship with man who isn’t divorced yet?
Velasco: Oh, definitely
Velasco says she’s exploring her legal options.
The woman who wrote about Velasco didn’t want to talk to us.
Alexander says she has never been successfully sued. She’s also started hesahomewrecker.com.
http://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2014/01/27/call-kurtis-getting-off-website-shaming-cheaters/
How about a website listing females that men should avoid due to their INSANITY???
This is NOT just another guy saying “all women are insane”. My girlfriend is currently locked in a nuthouse, so I have a legitimate gripe here that’s confirmed by mental health professionals.
I see this as a two-way street of circumstances. What about wives who cheat on their husbands?
However, this would probably fall into the same category as a husband seeking child support from the wife that runs away and abandons her children.
No doubt Inretrospect, I would like to know about that one too. Yea, what about the wives that cheat on their spouses. It is not always the guys fault. 😕 😎
While I can understand and appreciate the desire to be able to do background checks on people before you start dating them or getting too involved (i.e., insanity), and I do see some usefulness to that, I really, really have a strong aversion to this public, online shaming stuff (for any reason) that’s happening. I guess I can see some usefulness to warning people away from serial sociopaths, but there is too much danger (too few safeguards) in ruining someone’s life, who may have made a mistake or error in judgement, learned from that mistake, but finds himself or herself punished by being publicly shamed, in perpetuity. That goes way beyond reasonable. I know many will disagree with me and think that shunning is a perfectly good punishment for people. I think it is cruel punishment.
I don’t think it’s ever a good idea, whether it’s a man or a woman. I think it is placing yourself above God, to do this kind of condemnation of other people. I think it is not good — no good comes out of it. Maybe some temporary alleviating of your hurt and outrage, through revenge and punishment, but there are other and better ways of healing from this kind of injury.
As far as relationships go today…..It always starts out with the laughing and the smiling, and then comes the running and the screaming……and , of course, women are not like regular people.
I actually took time to check out the web page. And, and it EQUAL OPPORTUNITY~they have just started a web page for men to! I grew up in a small town where everyone knew their neighbor. KEEPING your name “clean” from any kind of scandal was important. Now, with the increase of the population as well other agency’s helping hide your scandals very few people are held accountable. These same agency’s will give you information about a specific individual at a price! I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with this as I am so tired of narcissist’s and liars.