The OnionARLINGTON, TX—Marking the Cowboys’ season opener against the Giants in traditional fashion, Dallas fans were reportedly treated to a thrilling halftime show Sunday night that featured the execution of a Texas state prisoner.
“That was the best halftime show I’ve seen in years—there was this awesome light show with Toby Keith’s ‘American Ride’ playing over the sound system while a priest administered the last rites,” said 46-year-old Cowboys fan Alan Kierstead, adding that he especially enjoyed when Cowboys cheerleaders formed the shape of a skull around the stage and performed an elaborate dance routine before the convicted felon was injected with a lethal dose of pentobarbital.
“My favorite part was when he finally went limp and all those fireworks shot up from the top of the stadium. I just wish I were one of those lucky people on the field who got to watch it close-up.”
Delighted fans also told reporters that the halftime execution was far better than any other such event at Texas Stadium, noting that the view of the inmate’s last breath was much better on the venue’s state-of-the-art 72-foot-tall LED jumbotron.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/dallas-cowboys-halftime-show-features-execution-of,33782/
Is this for real??
It’s the Onion, not real.
Yeims- If you search the net, you will find that this is the standard “Onion” satire.
I thought that death match gladiator fights between death row inmates, possibly with tag teams of two or more, would bring in a lot of pay-per-view dollars. The victor(s) of the death match live to fight another day, and the loser(s)… well, those people were going to eventually be executed anyway. Turn the taxpayer cost of executions into an opportunity for profit making. Barbarism will be the new norm.
People would think my idea to be great, until the State starts to execute dissenters, as treasonists. I believe that the State would prefer the guillotine because they would make even more money harvesting undamaged organs.
“Never let a good crisis go to waste.”
-Rahm Emanuel
Is treasonists even a real word?
Traitors might be the call here.
Sorry, I’m a stickler for accuracy. LOL
To #1>>> “Treasonists” is the plural form of treasonist: people who betray their country by committing treason. You may need the unabridged edition of Webster’s dictionary to find it… but it’s correct. Use what ever synonym, you want #1 because I know you are a martinet for accurateness, and you will probably also receive a red sticker on your mailbox, like me. I’ll never play Scrabble with you though. LOL
BTW: The better form of the word, in the context of my post, should have been: “treasonous”.
Glad we cleared that up. 🙂