Snowden Offers to Fix Healthcare.gov

snowden-healthcare-580.jpegThe New Yorker – by ANDY BOROWITZ [SATIRE]

MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—The N.S.A. leaker Edward Snowden today reached out to the United States government, offering to fix its troubled healthcare.gov Web site in exchange for immunity from prosecution.

Speaking from an undisclosed location in Russia, Mr. Snowden said he hacked the Web site over the weekend and thinks he is “pretty sure what the problem is.”  

“Look, this thing was built terribly,” he said. “It’s a government Web site, O.K.?”

Mr. Snowden said that if an immunity deal can be worked out, “I can get to work on this thing right away—I don’t need a password.”

In addition to full immunity, Mr. Snowden said he is requesting that he be allowed to work from home.

At the White House, President Obama offered a muted response to Mr. Snowden’s proposal: “Edward Snowden is a traitor who has compromised our national security. Having said that, if he knows why we keep getting those error messages, that could be a conversation.”

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/10/snowden-offers-to-fix-health-insurance-marketplace.html?mobify=0

3 thoughts on “Snowden Offers to Fix Healthcare.gov

  1. “At the White House, President Obama offered a muted response to Mr. Snowden’s proposal: “Edward Snowden is a traitor who has compromised our national security. Having said that, if he knows why we keep getting those error messages, that could be a conversation.””

    NO, Obama is lying, once again.

    Snowden released criminal activities being done by those who are serving within our federal government and the military exactly as he is LAWFULLY required to do. ALL who are employed or serve within the federal government, military, law enforcement are required by the contract to take an oath to SUPPORT and DEFEND the US Constitution – fulltime, service, parttime, temporary; ALL. Snowden did his duty as his contract required(s) because the support and defense of the US Constitution comes BEFORE anything else; the orders of a president, of officers above one’s rank, of officials of higher level, of the duties of the position one is occupying. That is correct, it is the FIRST duty all who take the oath are to carry out above ALL else.

    If there were never intended to be action to defend the Constitution from those who are *domestically attempting to destroy its power and authority, why would each Oath require it of those who take the Oaths? 

    The only treason that has been committed, plus the only national security that has been compromised has been carried out by those within the federal government – representatives in all three branches, federal law enforcement, military, and those they have hired to carry out those criminal acts.

    * Definition of Domestic Enemies of the USA – “Domestic enemies pursue legislation, programs against the powers of the US Constitution. They work on destroying and weakening the Rights of the People guaranteed by the Constitution. Plus they create laws, amendments, bills, etc that goes against the restraint on the three branches of our government by the Constitution. They are also those who support those in action, or by inaction; vote, voice, money, etc who are going against or trying to weaken the US Constitution and the Peoples written guarantee of the protection of those Rights.”

  2. I wish Snowden wouldn’t have offered to do that. I don’t want to be forced onto this piece of you know what, illegal, health(?) care, tax grabbing law. I thought Snowden was happy in Russia.
    . . .

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