Porcine Peace Initiative

My dearest Comrade Vladimir Putin,

I am writing to you to offer an idea which popped into my head this morning. It will save your country untold amounts of rubles, while at the same time driving the terrorist elements from the Middle East. I offer “Paula’s PORCINE for PEACE” initiative.

After reading this morning that our prison system will no longer be offering pork to the prisoners, (you know, we have this PC bovine excrement going on in this country), we will have an excess of pork to dispose of.  

This initiative will not only help your country to save their military hardware, it will most certainly help the American farmer, since they have lost an outlet for their production. Not only the hog farmers, but also the corn and soybean farmers who produce the feed for the hogs.

Being a farmer’s daughter and a farmer’s wife, I know the hardships we go through in agriculture. And it seems the money would be better spent in supporting the farmers, since our Defense Department just can’t account for over 8 TRILLION dollars, and years spent chasing those sneaky rascals over there.

So we will just drop some porcine peace bombs in all those hidey holes over there, and deny them their 70 virgins in heaven. And as of this writing, we have had no jihadist attacks here on our place. So these soldiers are doing their intended job. I’ll be waiting to hear what you think about this, Vlad.

Yours for PORCINE PEACE,

Paula

PS.) They are also good for the environment as they are natural recyclers, as you can see by the photo. Low maintenance, don’t ya know!