The New Yorker – by ANDY BOROWITZ [Satire]
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—By a five-to-four decision, the United States Supreme Court today defended the right of the wealthiest Americans to own the United States government.
Writing for the majority, Chief Justice John Roberts summarized the rationale behind the Court’s decision: “In recent years, this Court has done its level best to remove any barriers preventing the wealthiest in our nation from owning our government outright. And while the few barriers that remained were flimsy at best, it was high time that they be shredded as well.”
Citing the United States Constitution, Justice Roberts wrote, “Our founding fathers created the most magnificent democracy in human history. Now, thanks to this decision, the dream of owning that democracy is a reality.”
Justice Antonin Scalia also weighed in, telling reporters at the Court, “After all the pro-gay decisions we’ve been making around here lately, it was nice to finally have a win for the good guys.”
Photograph by Larry Downing-Pool/Getty.
Almost caught me there, #1. Good thing it is only SATIRE! lol
dam, not enough coffee yet this morning
the Government of the United States is owned by the People, wealthy or poor..it is owned (or supposed to be owned) equally
this playing favorites to the wealthy is a huge mistake..and should cost any politician or government lackey thier job and be run out of town on rails or just hung in the town sq
I wonder how close this satire is to reality?