24 Signs That You Just Might Be a Closet Prepper

Here are 24 signs that you might be a closet prepper:

• You’ve had a survival blog for 4 years and your spouse doesn’t know.
• Your family does not know there’s a case of Dinty Moore stew hidden in the basement
• You stand around the office water cooler laughing with your buddies about all those tin-foil hat wearers – but you have your own roll of Reynolds Wrap at home.

• You’re an anonymous poster on Infowars.
• While you were supposed to be grocery shopping, you were checking out escape routes out of the city.
• You’ve got a Swiss Army knife on your keychain that looks like a roach clip, instead of a roach clip that looks like a Swiss Army knife.
• You’ve read The Turner Diaries with a flashlight under the bed covers, so now you think you know what’s coming.
• You download Steve Quayle’s podcasts to your i-pod so you can listen to him on your way to work, alone.
• You anonymously put your spouse on a mailing list for wilderness vacation spots.
• You’ve got a browser bookmarks folder named “Recipes” that includes links to Survival Blog, Preparedness Society Forum, the Economic Collapse Blog, Survival Mom, and Surviving Survivalism.
• You’ve told your in-laws that the camping equipment in the garage is because you love the great outdoors.
• You’ve convinced yourself that you like the taste of freeze-dried storage foods.
• You play the video game, Half-Life II to practice what you will do when chaos breaks out.
• Doomsday Preppers is your favorite TV show, but you have to TiVO it so you can watch it when your family is out of the house.
• You’ve asked a survivalist group to try to convince your spouse that prepping is a good idea.
• Your family thinks you’ve become a religious fanatic, but every Sunday morning you are really taking trips into the wilderness.
• You tell your wife the gas mask you bought is to spark up your sex life – you’d rather have her think you’re a pervert than a prepper.
• You run a large “off-grid” website from your London apartment, but you tell your friends it’s just for the monthly Google Analytics check.
• You tell your neighbors that you bought a HumVee for its gas mileage.
• You visit different survival communities every weekend, telling your girlfriend/boyfriend that “It’s just a free camping weekend!”
• You’ve built a house out of rocks deep in the woods while your wife/husband thought you were taking philosophy classes at the local college.
• While you are in the bathroom getting ready for work, you day dream about leaving society behind and living the self-sufficient life.
• You pray that company doesn’t want to stay overnight, because if you open the sofa bed they’ll see all your Survival magazines.
• You’re just waiting for the day when you can say, “See?  I told you!”

Dan & Sheila are the authors of Surviving Survivalism – How to Avoid Survivalism Culture ShockSurviving Survivalism – How to Avoid Survivalism Culture Shock  .  They can be reached at surviving@lavabit.comsurviving@lavabit.com  .