Los Angeles On High Alert As LAPD Back On Regular Duty (Satire)

lapdThe Onion

LOS ANGELES—Los Angeles residents are reportedly on edge today following reports that hundreds of armed and extremely dangerous Los Angeles Police Department officers are resuming regular patrolling duties after the conclusion of Tuesday’s manhunt for rogue ex-cop Christopher Dorner.

“I mean, just knowing they’re out there is terrifying—how can I feel safe when these maniacs are on the loose in my neighborhood?” said a visibly rattled Ashley Stillson, 38, who explained that she strictly observed the city’s advisory to avoid the historically violent, unpredictable predators by going out in groups and avoiding the streets entirely after nightfall.

“These guys are volatile and, in many cases, mentally unstable. Something needs to be done about them because I fear for my family knowing these sick people are still at large.”

At press time, sources reported the tense mood in L.A. had brightened considerably after news of a serial rapist diverted numerous LAPD officers to a sprawling manhunt in nearby San Bernardino.


7 thoughts on “Los Angeles On High Alert As LAPD Back On Regular Duty (Satire)

  1. Good one! 😀

    Every time I see a police car cruiser, all I can think of is that they remind me of cockroaches.

    . . .

  2. This is very funny in a “gallows humor” kind of way.

    Thank God I don’t live in LA….or Chicago, or NYC, or New Orleans..etc….

  3. Just an additional thought… The idea of government trolls and cops on this website making comments seems like it might be impossible. To submit a comment one must answer the Security Question. In this case, “What is 14 + 7?”
    It is difficult to believe cops and government-types are capable of adding two-digit numbers.

  4. if the dornier manhunt was a false flag isnt its intended effect to get people to feel most cops are crazy and out of control?

    were being led around by the carrot of our emotions here. dont be manipulated so easily citizens. everybody is tense and with good reason but keep a cool head and work your critical thinking

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