Four old cowboys are having a discussion about what is the fastest thing in the world.
First cowboy says “I believe it’s thinking, ’cause when you prick your finger or touch a flame, the pain instantly becomes thought and hits the brain”.
Second cowboy says “Well, I think it’s blinking. When you blink and open your eyes again, you immediately see everything. Nothing is changed”.
Third cowboy says “Well, I think its light, ’cause as soon as you press that light switch, you go from dark to instant light”.
Fourth cowboy says “Well, I think it’s the Mexican-two-step diarrhea”.
All the others ask simultaneously “Diarrhea? Why?”
Fourth cowboy says “I’ll explain it to you. I went across the border to a saloon last night and drank a buncha homemade Mexican tequila. On the way home from the saloon, I stopped off at Lupe’s cafe and ate two helpings of her Mexican Special, which I suspect had been warmed over a time or two, and a buncha jalapenos and some chili peppers I never saw before”.
First cowboy asks “So, what’s that got to do with speed or diarrhea?”
Fourth cowboy says “Well, later on when I was in bed, I felt this fire and fierce rumbling in my belly, and before I could think, or blink, or turn on that goddamn light”…
Lol! End of world scenario, all the church goers will be runnin’ to the bar while the “bar flies” are scrambling to get to the church! LOL!!!
Good one!
A Muslim walks into a bar…….the bartender says….”What will you have?”
The Muslim said….”Shots for all”
A skeleton walks into a bar…….the bartender says “What will you have?”
The Skeleton said ” A beer and a mop.”
A talking dog walks into a bar and says: “Hey, howabout a free drink for a talking dog?”
And the bartender says: “Sure. The toilets down the hall.”