Punxsutawney Phil, the King of the Groundhogs, was found dead Today from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound after predicting six more weeks of winter.

7 thoughts on “Punxsutawney Phil, the King of the Groundhogs, was found dead Today from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound after predicting six more weeks of winter.

  1. COUNTY CORONER L.C. MUSKRAT SAID,”VERY ODD CASE, THERE WERE FIVE INDIVIDUAL GUNSHOT WOUNDS TO THE UPPER CHEST; ONE DEAD CENTER OF THE HEART.

  2. He survived the attempt. It was the 911 call that killed Phil.

    The pigs finished the ‘job’ when they showed up to ‘help’.

  3. The reports of Phil’s demise are incorrect. He was merely playing possum. I predict he’ll be back next year, to once again, send tens of thousands of Pennsylvanians into clinical depression.

  4. OK, gig’s up. I hear this groundhog was right-pawed. So why was the gun found by his left paw? Word on the street says that he was a Glock 19 homie, too. No old school cracker wheel gun for him. “Hands up! Don’t shoot!”

Join the Conversation

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


*