Vegas: Rove Attack Ads Seal Victory for Hillary

karl-rove-tampa-580.jpgThe New Yorker – by ANDY BOROWITZ  [Satire]

LAS VEGAS (The Borowitz Report)—News that Karl Rove’s PAC, American Crossroads, has bought ads attacking Hillary Clinton has sent the Democrat’s stock soaring in Las Vegas, where oddsmakers now say she is virtually guaranteed to be the next President of the United States.

“People were bullish on Hillary before this,” said Tracy Klugian, a leading Las Vegas oddsmaker for over forty years. “But the Rove thing makes it a lock.”  

After American Crossroads’s historic string of defeats in 2012, “Serious gamblers wait to see who Rove is supporting and then bet the house on the other side.”

The oddsmaker’s only concern, he added, was that Rove’s involvement in the race will dry up all interest in betting on Republican candidates for 2016: “Right now I’m offering Marco Rubio at ninety thousand to one and I ain’t getting a bite.”

While acknowledging that “there’s no sure thing” in the world of gambling, Mr. Klugian said that for professional gamblers, betting against Karl Rove is “as good as it gets.”

“He’s the LeBron James of losing,” he said.

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/05/vegas-rove-attack-ads-seal-victory-for-hillary.html?mbid=nl_Borowitz%20(119)

5 thoughts on “Vegas: Rove Attack Ads Seal Victory for Hillary

  1. maybe they are all in it together? ya think? 🙂 bengazi brings hillary down, the rover brings her up…dear lord how obvious does it have to be? 🙂

  2. “attacking Hillary Clinton has sent the Democrat’s stock soaring in Las Vegas, where oddsmakers now say she is virtually guaranteed to be the next President of the United States.”

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Hitlery, the next president? I’m guessing they only surveyed the Zionist Jews and the corporations but not We the people. Typical. Gee… you’d almost think they were gambling our country’s future away just like the stock market. You’d think they’d learn by now. Unfortunately, Vegas, like stock market investors are nothing but addicted gamblers who can’t stop themselves and withdrawals a bitch. Luckily, their days of gambling our country’s future away is coming to an end. To figure in the companies and not the people will be a big mistake for them in the end. We the People will no more sit idle the next time a presidential election becomes as fraudulent as it was in the last election. And our corrupt mafia government in office knows it.

    Anyways, they forgot what happened last time she ran for president. SHE LOST! And only the women or gay women and feminists voted for her.

    As always, in my opinion, there won’t be another presidential election as by the time 2016 comes, Obama will declare himself dictator for life or we will be officially at war.

  3. As long as HRM Hillary keeps kissing Israeli arse and vows to protect that psychotic State of Hate, the Zionist MSM will make her appear angelic in the next general election.

  4. Best laugh I had all day! (yesterday)

    I’m definitely NOT in a laughing mood today though, after the news about the bombing in Turkey came out.

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