The new jobless claims number dropped, plummeted, plunged to a measly, insignificant 405,000. Obama did it. Full employment, how could we have ever doubted him for a moment? Now we can all pitch in some of our new found wealth to get rid of those draconian unfair taxes on the profits of the rich.
Personally I have not been sleeping well, knowing of the deplorable condition the rich are finding themselves in. They should have never been taxed. It is wrong, it has always been wrong. And let’s face it, it would have never been necessary had it not been for the insatiable greed of the old, the poor, the sick, and the most deplorable of all, those goddamn greedy bastards, in the middle class who seem to think the world owes them the right to work and earn a living.
In fact, now that I think about it, seeing as we are living in a heyday now, we can do some punitive taxation on the middle class and give a little wealth back to the rich, to try in some little way to make up for the grievous wrong we have done to them. They will probably never forgive us, but if we are to continue to call ourselves Christians, we must try.
I personally am going to volunteer to donate my time at night and on the weekends to do charity work at the docks, scraping the barnacles from their yachts. I know many of you do not live close enough to the ocean to participate in this charity work, but you might think about going out to the airport and polishing their airplanes as a path to your own redemption.
Have you heard that the Afghans have chosen to train women pilots? My God, talk about civil justice in equality. My people, we have achieved. I will be the first to admit that I was wrong in opposing that righteous and justified war. Hell, if the Afghans would be willing to throw a couple of woman firefighters into the mix, you can put me down for another trillion.
I know I’m sounding like an optimist, but with all the good news on the economy I can’t help myself. I’m giddy and not just a little ashamed. I’ve been acting like a spoiled child in a candy store, complaining about petty things like lack of food and heat. I guess I just never realized how much the rich were suffering; paying that 5% of taxes they couldn’t get out of through the loopholes.
Thank God President Bush and President Obama had my back and were trying to make up for the inequalities behind the scenes with the bailouts and stimulus. I look at these poor rich people and then I look again and now I understand why John Boehner cries.
Well I’ve got to go now, I have fashioned a cat o’ nine tails out of a sawed off mop handle and some barbwire. I shall chastise myself and pray for the forgiveness of the rich people I have harmed, and of God. I don’t know if the rich can find it in their hearts to forgive me, but maybe one day God will.
God bless the Republic, death to the international corporate mafia, we shall prevail.