Portsmouth, VA — While police in Portsmouth were stopped early Friday morning at a Dunkin’ Donuts, a miracle happened. The heavens smiled upon America’s indentured slaves and the cop car caught fire, seriously. The car was parked at the Dunkin’ Donuts @ 4701 George Washington Highway in Portsmouth, VA.
Firefighters f#@ked it up around 2am and put the fire out. Clueless, the police are investigating what caused the fire. No one was hurt by the blaze except the police car; a car traditionally used to help cops issue tickets and imprison folks into Virginia’s for-profit prison system. Mysteriously, Dunkin Donuts was closed at that time according to their website.
No word if the cops were staking out an actual crime or just a powdered jelly, boston cream or cup of coffee. It must take a lot of sugar and caffeine to mindlessly trudge through shifts as henchmen for the elite.
Anyways, here’s an epic ode to cops and donuts via Occupy Wall Street. Happy Monday!