“It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go;
Take a look in the five and ten glistening once again
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in every store
But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be
On your own front door.

A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben;
Dolls that will talk and will go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen;
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again. School days school days dear old golden rules day don’t have to study don’t have to go look out the window it’s starting to snow  

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go;
There’s a tree in the Grand Hotel, one in the park as well,
The sturdy kind that doesn’t mind the snow.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas;
Soon the bells will start,
And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart

Hey!  Wait a minute!  “A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots is the wish of Barney and Ben”?!?  Just who are these two?  They sound like domestic terrorists that must be apprehended and imprisoned immediately to ensure national safety and security!  This “classic Christmas carol” must be outlawed! How dare we allow such anti-authoritarian propaganda to play over our airwaves?!

While we’re at it, all copies of the movie “A Christmas Story”, be it VHS, DVD, or any other format must be confiscated and destroyed!  All TV and cable networks must be ordered not to air this terrorist propaganda which brainwashes children into desiring a Red Ryder B.B. gun and other deadly firearms!

This madness must be stopped here and now or the future of the NWO……..errrrrr America will be lost!