‘Walk Heard Around the World’: Parents Face 5 Years of Legal Purgatory

Bethesda-Chevy Chase Patch – by Deb Belt

When 10-year-old Rafi Meitiv saw a police car at his school recently, he ducked to hide.

That’s not the reaction his mother, Danielle Meitiv, wants her son to have when he sees police officers. But after his father was threatened with arrest in December, the boy is skittish around police, even having nightmares.  

Authorities have accused the couple of “neglect” in this case: the parents allowed Rafi, 10, and his younger sister, Dvora, 6, to walk home by themselves from a neighborhood park in Silver Spring, MD,

A February finding by Montgomery County’s Child Protective Services that Danielle and Alexander Meitiv had committed unsubstantiated neglect of their children set off a national firestorm of debate on when government should interject itself in parenting decisions.

And while the Meitiv kids are at times entertained, and at times bemused by the international media attention surrounding their family, Rafi supports his parents’ efforts to challenge the neglect finding.

Rafi says, “Mom, we’re like the Rosa Parks of families.”

Montgomery County Child Protective Services sent a letter Feb. 20 to Danielle and Alexander Meitiv telling the parents they are responsible for child neglect. The couple plans to appeal the finding.

The county agency will keep a file on the family for five years, which could leave the Meitivs vulnerable to prosecution if they let their children walk unattended. Their attorney terms the ongoing scrutiny legal purgatory.

Meanwhile, the couple has no plans to change the way they raise their children.

Legal Limbo Over Parenting Decisions

During an interview with Patch last month, Danielle said that the kids had walked to a neighborhood café to get steamers – just the two of them. “It’s a safe neighborhood, the people at the shop were happy to see them,” she said.

She and her husband completely disagree with the county’s neglect finding and maintain they should never have been investigated. The county’s file on them doesn’t contain evidence of neglect; Danielle calls it a Kafka-esque term.

“It doesn’t give us any sense of closure, the county does have a file on us. It’s a threat hanging over our heads,” she said.

The message from county workers to the parents, according to Danielle: “We think you did something wrong, we just don’t have any evidence is what it feels like.”

The Meitivs hope to meet with a county supervisor to explain their parenting philosophy – that kids living in a city must be given the tools and confidence to safely navigate their neighborhood without their parents — in an effort to settle the dispute amicably. But, they will pursue all options.

The first step is to appeal, which lawyers are working on. A legal defense fund has been set up on the Causes.com website to help the family with legal bills; about $2,000 has been donated so far.

“I thought I was saving for college, not to defend my family,” said Danielle, who works as a climate-science consultant and writer, and her husband is a physicist at the National Institutes of Health.

Raising Independent Children

Their children know they can roam around the family’s residential area – bounded by four busy streets – on foot or on their bikes. If they want to go to downtown Silver Spring, perhaps to visit Whole Foods or drop by the library, then they have to tell their parents.

Danielle grew up in New York City, learned to cross busy streets “because that’s what city kids do.” She said she would be remiss as a mother if her kids couldn’t cross busy Georgia Avenue safely.

Her son feels sorry for other kids who aren’t allowed to explore the neighborhood in which they live.

“We’ve presented this as a natural part of childhood. By protecting kids from really remote risks we expose them to greater risks, like car accidents, or obesity by not being active outdoors,” Danielle said. “We’re raising children who are terrified of the world we’re giving them.”

A competent, mature child has to be helped there by parents. “I believe it starts at this age,” she said.

Rafi understands why his parents are speaking out. He said, “I think you’re the best parents in the world because you’re not only standing up for us, you’re standing up for all families,” his mom recalled.

Speaking Out, Media Attention

Alexander grew up in the Soviet Union, so his family was worried about their stance, but they support the couple’s efforts to challenge the county finding. And, her children are learning to speak up for what isn’t right, “and thank God we live in a country where you can,” Danielle said.

Overall the kids think the attention is weird. They’ve been interviewed by The Washington Post and other media outlets across the country, as well as TV crews from Germany, Denmark and beyond.

People all across the United States and the world have reacted to the family’s story. Danielle says she gets letters every day via mail, Facebook, Twitter, and email with messages of support and outrage at the tenuous position the family is in with county authorities.

Takeaways from Case

The Meitiv children have learned that speaking out can have an impact on the world, Danielle says.

As an outgrowth of their case, the couple believes it’s time to examine the powers given to social workers and “those who can turn families upside down. It’s up to the discretion of the screener whether an investigation is made,” she said.

The caseworker who appeared at the Meitiv home in December 2014 told Alexander to sign a safety plan drafted by Child Protective Services or she would take Rafi and Dvora on the spot, says Danielle. “She hadn’t seen the kids, hadn’t talked to a judge.”

The action, the couple says, was based on a call from someone who reported the siblings walking from a park on a Saturday afternoon. The CPS worker called Montgomery County Police to arrest Alexander, then canceled the summons when he signed the safety plan, the Meitivs say.

Despite the attention of helicopter parents who smooth the way for their kids, most American children – unless they live in poverty with everyday threats – are the safest that human beings have ever been, Danielle says.

That safety may have today’s parents looking for other things to worry about. “We have managed to make this wonderfully safe world for our children, and now we won’t let them enjoy it,” she suggests.

When Danielle was at the kids’ school recently she saw a mom who asked how the family was doing, and said she’s rooting for them – a sentiment shared by many parents.

While she knows there are people who disagree, the Meitivs call Rafi and Dvora’s eventful trip home from the park “the walk heard around the world.”

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