Making a snowman is now frowned upon

8:00 I got up and made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman.  

8:17 My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and complained it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 The transgender mam / woman / person or thing down the street asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 The vegans at the end of the block complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not meant to decorate snow figures.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.

8:42 The feminist neighbor complained, again, that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 The Association’s ‘Equality Officer / Thought Police’ arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up … I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.

9:00 I’m on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult times.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children have been taken by social services.

9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded.

Moral: There is no moral to this story … It’s just the world in which we live in today and … it is going to get much colder.