Report: Increase In Gun Sales To Be Most Concrete Result Of Obama’s Pro-Gun-Control Speech

The Onion

WASHINGTON—Researchers at the Urban Institute published a study Friday confirming that a sharp increase in gun sales nationwide would be the most concrete result of the impassioned pro-gun-control speech that President Obama delivered following yesterday’s mass shooting in Oregon.  

“According to our analysis, by far the most tangible impact of the president emotionally urging the nation to consider how their votes can prevent mass shootings like this will be a 17 percent spike in revenue for firearm vendors across the U.S.,” said report co-author Kyle Bieler, who found a direct link between the estimated $58 million uptick in gun sales over the next month and Obama’s use of the phrases “common-sense legislation,” “only advanced country,” and “not enough.”

“The portion of the president’s remarks in which he asked for support from state legislatures and governors will, based on our projections, nearly double the number of sidearm purchases this year. Beyond that, the only other material change that is likely to result from Obama calling on elected officials and everyday citizens to work together to reduce gun violence will be the purchase of roughly 100 million rounds of ammunition.”

Bieler noted that the president’s support for responsible gun ownership will likely have no impact on sales, as Americans would have likely already walked out of their front door, started their car, and driven to their nearest gun store long before that point in the speech.

http://www.theonion.com/article/report-increase-gun-sales-be-most-concrete-result–51456

7 thoughts on “Report: Increase In Gun Sales To Be Most Concrete Result Of Obama’s Pro-Gun-Control Speech

    1. More likely they are mocking Øsurper & the liberals frame of mind using the back fire effect. The Onion
      – generally they mock stupidity

      Either way, the Onion is great.

      Their Onion TV bit is truly inspiring.

  1. The Onion is indeed a satire site, but in this case it’s hard to tell because what they’re saying is basically true.

    As for Obama, Biden, and the other politicians who are crying crocodile tears over this latest shooting: How about ending drone strikes overseas, which kill numerous civilians? How about ending aid to Israel? How about ending drug prohibition, which fuels even more gang warfare than alcohol prohibition did? Friggin’ hypocrites.

  2. The funniest part about it is that our “government” has become so absurd that people have to ask if this is satire.

    In the old days everyone knew when a comedian was making fun of the president, but today he could just as easily be reading the news.

  3. The anti gunner that are scared of guns and refuse to arm themselves are the real fools. The gun free areas are all over the place for the insane people to choose from and choose them is exactly what the vast majority of them do too! I can remember when the same ones wanting our guns now were spewing that parent spanking their kids was where all this violence was coming from and they were wrong then too. We are now all living in a failed social experiment gone wild and getting wilder all the time. Protect your self and phuque what anyone else thinks about it because the ones in power use your tax dollars to have themselves protected with GUNS and THUGS in uniform that are paid to do just that.

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