Angry with an ex? Adopt a cockroach or scorpion in their honor

Reuters/Sukree SukplangRT

Valentine’s Day can be a terrible time for jilted lovers and those dealing with rejection, but now even those simmering in anger can delight in the holiday by adopting a hissing cockroach or hairy scorpion in honor of their former lovers.

Looking to drum up support for some of its less cuddly critters, the San Francisco Zoo is putting a twist on Valentine’s Day. Instead of adopting a penguin, flamingo, or giraffe, people now have a limited-time opportunity to adopt a Madagascar hissing cockroach or a giant hairy scorpion.  

Better yet: Those who choose to participate can dedicate their donation to an ex.

“Nothing says ‘I’ve moved on’ like adopting a giant cuddly cockroach in the name of your favorite ex,”the zoo’s website reads. “When you think about the detritus of your love life this Valentine’s Day, consider adopting a Madagascar hissing cockroach for your ex.”

As part of the deal, those who adopt a cockroach can choose to send their “gift” to whomever they want – donations start at $24 – and the recipient will be in for quite a surprise. The San Francisco Zoo will then notify that person of the adoption, sending them a red Valentine’s Day box complete with little plastic cockroaches inside.

But what’s Valentine’s Day without choices? The zoo will also allow people to adopt scorpions if they’re interested, highlighting it as an animal for those who have “fallen prey to love’s cruel sting.”

“Much like your low-life ex, they are usually found in and around low-elevation valleys where they dig elaborate burrows or ‘caves,’” the website reads. “Also just like you-know-who, when a suitable victim wanders by, the scorpion grabs the doomed creature with its pinchers and stings the prey. After the prey is immobilized, the scorpion tears the carcass apart with its pinchers and begins feeding. Charming.”

Starting at $50, donations will bag donors (or their former significant others) a plush scorpion, in addition to a certificate confirming the adoption.

Unlike other “revenge” websites, however, the money collected by the zoo actually goes to a good cause. All donations are used to support the zoo’s efforts to care for the animals and help boost its mission of raising awareness for conservation and wildlife.

“And with a little luck,” the zoo added, “this generous donation will release your bad love life karma so that you never have to encounter a cockroach again.”

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