Over Age 55 Perks

Perks of reaching 55 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 or beyond!

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

No one expects you to run  —  anywhere.  

People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, ‘Did I wake you?

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won’t wear out.

You can eat supper at 4 PM.

You can live without sex but not your glasses.

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
(My personal favorite)

You sing along with elevator music.

Your eyes won’t get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to  a manageable size.

You can’t remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.

under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!

43 thoughts on “Over Age 55 Perks

  1. An old man once told me “you will know when your getting old because you wont be able to trust your own farts”.

    Paul, you must be one fun guy to hang out with. Or take a nap at the same time as. Which ever.

    1. 🙂 Thank you sir for that compliment. You wouldn’t want to hang around me, as i do not trust my farts anymore. 🙂 However i do like my naps, and i NEVER pull the covers over my head anymore. 🙂

  2. is this what my future holds??? I will embrace it with open arms!! Come on old age, I am a here waiting for ya! farts and all! Good one Paul!

      1. Paul I will give you his exact words, here is his reply:
        I’ll talk to Tag on Monday. I wouldn’t be to worried though. Your one of our best abstractor’s and I’m sure Tag wants to keep you working. From what I understand Caddo Parish is going to keep going for a while. Also waiting to hear on a couple of new things that might be happening, one in Calcasieu Parish and one in Alabama. I’ll give you an update after I talk to Tag. signed, Rob

        So Paul, that is kinda good news and kinda bad. I know I am good at what I do, that is why I get paid what I do, but you can also price yourself out of the business. I will wait until he emails back with what Tag says (owner of the brokerage) and if it is not promising, then I am sending my Resume to Beta Land Services, I have worked for them in the past, I hated it, but, I have bills to pay. I will pray, pray and pray some more!! My sister is working for BETA, and she called tonight to ask me to lie about her son working for my company so she can get him hired at BETA. Crazy!! My nephew is 18, he does not need to be in this business, it is too cut throat. That is why I like it, makes me have to fight for what I want!! 🙂

        1. Lies don’t work Missy. it will always come around and bites you one way or the other. also business and family doesn’t usually work with some acceptations of course. of coarse you already know that. will be praying my dear.

          1. nope i emailed him earlier,and no response yet. He was on the pub today. still feeling really rough. Hope he is getting some antibiotics. i feel it’s time to go to them.

          2. thank you for the prayers, I will also pray for you! I will make it, always have, I am a strong girl! I have been through things that would make men faint! I can hang, believe me, it is just in my soul.

  3. “18.
    Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.”


    And both of them are still working just fine.

      1. answered above at time stamp 6:50 p.m. angel
        here it is.
        nope i emailed him earlier,and no response yet. He was on the pub today. still feeling really rough. Hope he is getting some antibiotics. i feel it’s time to go to them.

    1. #1 that has nothing to do with age. Thats all the weed you have smoked over the years.

      You know what sound a brain cell makes when it dies? BONG.
      Im catching up.

  4. This is so cute and so very true Paul. Thanks for the laugh! I can use a few laughs these days. If no one has told you lately Paul … you’re absolutely precious!
    . . .

    1. Thanks Cathleen We all need smiles in these times. everything is so out of control. Laughter soothes the soul and heals your bones. Author, God, paraphrased by yours truly.

    1. Will do Deb. i’m concerned about him. I emailed Digger earlier this evening, and he has not responded yet. Millard is 40 miles from him, so he has a friend within reasonable distance depending on the weather. Pray for Him Deb.

      1. I will pray for him Paul. Is it possible that he is just sleeping in for the day? Do you know what he has? I know when I was feeling under the weather just recently, it was hard to even look at the computer. I just wanted to sleep.

        If anyone has a phone number for him, perhaps giving him a call would clear it up and make sure he is okay.

        Sometimes I really think we need a phone tree just in case.

          1. OK…Now I’m REALLY worried… 🙁 I’ve worried about him since I found out his about age/broken body/ living conditions (having to stoke his wood stove for heat every two hours,etc.), alone in a remote area. Great for a young person, but…
            Hopefully, he’s merely hibernating for a while, just doesn’t feel like/want to talk to people, and is getting some healing rest. I’ve been known to do that when I’m not in good shape.
            Prayers out there for him. Wish someone could go out and phyisically check on him, make sure he has enough wood, supplies, etc.

          2. yes when I’m down i don’t like anyone to bother me. that could be it. Millard is in pretty constant contact with him. so hope everything is under control.

        1. also Deb. they have been chemtrailing his area a lot lately. i suspect that is whats causing his problems. that stuff can take you way down for a long time.

    1. Deb hes getting hit up there with a lot of sleet and snow tonight. That isn’t good either, been watching the weather up there

      1. Well, lets try not to worry Paul. He might not have power, which is bad if he is feeling sick. But he’s a tough guy, he will be okay. No power would equal no internet and phone. So let’s give it some time. But keep trying into tomorrow. It’ll be okay. He’s in my prayers.

    1. I know you do Paul. You’re a good friend. *hugs*

      digger will be okay. Keep us informed. And at this point he should know that he has us here that think about his well being. I’ll be thinking of him and praying that all is well.

      Have a good night.

      By the way, if you want to email Laura or Henry for my email address feel free to do so.

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