I DIDN’T BELIEVE THESE LAWS AT FIRST, BUT HAVE FOUND THEM TO BE TRUE (Many Times) FROM ACTUAL EXPERIENCE.
1.Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
2.Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability– The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5.Supermarket Law – As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.
6.Variation Law –If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
7.Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15.Law of Logical Argument–Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
17.Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking– A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18.Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy–As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors’ Law– If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better… But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.
20. Law of Infants: Babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt.
-Admin.
lol
Missy i can relate to each and every one of these laws, including YOURS Henry
hahah 🙂
The Law of Aging:
When you reach the golden years, everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
Yes. i agree. Ya know the saying about the golden years? the only thing golden at my age (70) is my pee. 🙂
I walked into the men’s rest room at work one day, and there was an elderly employee already standing at one of the urinals. I took my stance at the urinal next to him, and gave a sigh as my stream erupted, relieving my aching bladder. When I finnished I exclaimed: “This is the only place I know at work where everything will turn out OK.”
The elderly employee (who was still standing at the urinal) stated: “Sometimes”.
For all I know, that poor old guy may still be standing there at the urinal.
hahaha inretrospect ive been there in sorry to say.
Law of Linux IRC Support – when joining an IRC channel for support, after you finally type up the details of your problem, the solution will come to you exactly at the moment you hit send — and before the snide remarks to your post can pick out the weakest part of your description having nothing to do with your problem, and fix that “non problem” from the first 5 hits in a search engine search. Also if you realize the solution, you won’t have time to be able to tell the channel to stop, and that the problem is solved, before the snide remarks come in.
Law of the vacuum : no matter how many times you pick up something off the floor, look at it, and throw it back down the vacuum still will not pick it up.
I have a murphy law that I live by in electronics repair;
If it doesnt work, make it.
If you break it,
It didnt work anyways.
Law of the telephone :
Everything is fine for mom till the telephone rings then everyone needs something the moment she says hello.
Law of Power: You can bet when the power goes out you are right in the middle of something really important or a great movie.
The fart you try to ease out (the kind that CAN’T be held back) surreptitiously in a crowded public place will invariably get EVERYONE’S attention in the immediate area.
thats called a bomb i think #1 haha