The Centers for Disease Control has issued guidance on how Super Bowl watchers should behave when excitement strikes during the big game on Sunday.
No, this is not The Onion …
As part of its recommendations to avoid spreading Covid-19 when in small gatherings, the CDC is warning against “shouting, cheering loudly, or singing” as the Kansas City Chiefs take on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in Super Bowl LV.
The agency recommends to “clap, stomp your feet, or bring (or provide) hand-held noisemakers instead.”
The nannies over at the CDC are also urging folks to view the game with others virtually or only with immediate family, even suggesting ways you can go about enjoying the game when avoiding other people …
From the CDC website (cringe warning …):
Host a virtual Super Bowl watch party.
- Wear clothing or decorate your home with your favorite team’s logo or colors.
- Make appetizers or snacks with the people you live with to enjoy while watching the game and share the recipes with your friends and family.
- Start a text group with other fans to chat about the game while watching.
If you do gather outside your home for the game, it is recommenced to be outside and to “sit at least 6 feet away from people you don’t live with.”
And, of course, don’t forget to double mask, as per the small gathering guidelines.
“Wear a mask with two or more layers to stop the spread of COVID-19 to protect yourself and others,” the agency’s website reads.
The latest guidelines are reminiscent of those given in November when the CDC urged Americans to avoiding singing, chanting, playing loud music, and drinking too much alcohol during Thanksgiving.
Having fun is banned. pic.twitter.com/Zb27695cte
— Ian Miles Cheong (@stillgray) November 24, 2020
Welcome to the new normal, where the bureaucratic class nannies Americans anytime they wish to socialize.
I don’t watch the “Stupid Bowl” (should be called the Toilet Bowl) or any other “professional sports” (or any television at all). It’s just another distraction to keep the masses “entertained” because if people actually looked away from the idiot boxes they worship, they would at the very least have a chance to see the treason being committed every damn day.
Ahhh, the time of the “smeared in green jello, drinking a broccoli shake, masturbating in the corner while singing quietly: I wish I were an oscer meyer weiner” is finally upon us. No clapping, just use two chopsticks and clap them together so you do not offend anyone.